Anybody else feel like this?

I’m not sure you can have it both ways. There must be a certain point you personally feel uncomfortable being around friends or family or strangers? Not sure. Are you shy or just indifferent. To be with people might make you feel vulnerable or a need to open up. Small steps are needed. Maybe just one person. One friend to socialize. People you are familiar with. I myself prefer larger groups so I can melt into the background. Is this something new or has this always been an issue

I understand your dilemma.
As I understand it, you're caught between a natural need for company and fear of being hurt by those same people.
My experience has been that my reticence had insecurity at its root. Once I realized that *everybody* is insecure, I felt better.
Along the way, I learned to be careful about what I told other people. Nothing too intimate, nothing too sensitive.
Even on my YouTube channel, where I discuss my stroke experience, I limit topics.
See for yourself:
https://m.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos
Bottom line, though...I think what you're feeling is normal, but I'm not sure there's a way to learn some of this stuff without getting bruised a little.
Good luck.

In my experience if you meet enough people AND you are in environments suited to you, you will find sooner than later genuine friendships with a far lower risk of abandonment.

@imnotthere666 At your young age, per your profile, everyone goes through these same types of feelings. It is part of life. Sometimes we want to be in crowds, like @msh466 said, other times we want to be alone. And, in my humble opinion, neither one is bad. It's quite okay to follow what you feel on any given day, crowds or being solo.
Ginger