A brief update to "Ready to throw in the towel"

You made a lot of brave and difficult decisions at a challenging time in your life, and I think they'll pay off soon (if not right away). Congratulations!

First of all, this follow up has lifted my spirits and outlook on a day when family problems ( not health related) with my adult children are bringing me down.

Your ability to both objectively assess your situation and seek positive support and help is a superpower that will lift you up and I believe make a difference in your life.

SO HAPPY for you. this is very exciting news for all. We all need a pick me up at times, you have given me one, so thank you. It's a long journey and we all do what we can to get through the day. Thank you for sharing. Best to all.

Scott, I'm glad to read this. Sometimes us men have a hard time seeking help of any kind. We are problem solvers and think we can find our own way out of a situation. You have done the hard part now please keep going and reap the rewards.

| We are problem solvers and think we can find our own way out of a situation. |

That's exactly it. People who know us, especially women, call it "stubbornness" 😃.

P.S. based on your username, are you a fan of Iggy Pop and/or David Bowie? Two of my favorites.

Thanks for the update post. When I read your original post, my heart ached for you because I went through a serious bout of depression before I started ADT. When the depression worsened to the point where I considered ending my life prematurely I decided to seek professional help. My care provider, Northwestern Medicine in Chicago offers free counseling to cancer patients and my counselor has been fantastic. I’m glad to hear that you’ve got someone who can give you perspective and help you on your journey.

I’d like to relate a few thoughts to you and hope that some of them are helpful. I won’t pretend that I understand 100% how you feel because even though I’ve had a similar challenge, we’re all unique.

I opted to take ORGOVYX daily pills instead of the Lupron shot. Before I started ADT, I spoke to a number of men and saw a pattern that those taking ORGOVYX had less severe side effects than those taking the 3 month or 6 month Lupron shot. The pills are expensive and I’ve needed some financial help to be able to afford them, but my side effects have been quite manageable; more manageable than my friends who took the Lupron shot.

You’re an active guy. I can relate. Diagnosed with a second bout of aggressive prostate cancer, (this time Gleeson 9 stage 3 with lymph node involvement) I thought my life as I knew it would be over. I heard this horror stories and saw what ADT did to some of my friends that had ADT as part of their journey. The thought of that happening to me was more than I could bear. At age 68, I considered myself to be fit if not outright athletic in shape. It was suggested to me that I have a plan for my MIND, my BODY, and my SPIRIT. You might do well to consider having a plan for each of these too.

I met with a personal trainer that was skilled in putting together resistance training for cancer patients. The services of the trainer were provided free from Northwestern Medicine however, I would’ve gladly paid for them had I needed to. The trainer put together a plan on that addressed upper body resistance training, lower body resistance training, and Cardio. I had a gym membership before and considered starting a new one, but decided that it would be better if I wasn’t in an environment where I would be tempted to compare my physical condition to that of others around me. I bought a used Bowflex on Facebook marketplace and made some room in the basement for it. I alternate upper body one day and lower body the next day. I power walk or cycle every day. If the weather is bad, I use my elliptical but much prefer being outside. Nice weather lifts one spirits. I initially put on 10 pounds from ADT and have worked five of those pounds off. I’d be lying to you if I told you that I look forward to working out each day. It’s a grind, but it doesn’t take all that long (30-40 minutes) and I feel better physically and emotionally within an hour of completing a workout. My oncologist said that it’s because our bodies release endorphins as a result of exercise. Sounds legit to me!

I use an app called NOOM to manage my weight (calorie intake) and an Apple Watch to manage my daily calorie burn. Ive found that I can eat a balanced diet, can lose weight and still eat well.

My wife and I have been together for almost 50 years and until surgery in January we enjoyed sex regularly despite being seniors. I faced the double whammy of first and second generation ADT, and the fact that the surgeon was only able to perform nerve sparing on one side. I have an appointment to see a urologist that specializes in erectile dysfunction. Both my surgeon and my oncologist have encouraged me to investigate this. I’m not giving up without a fight and you shouldn’t either.

As for the “spirit” part of the plan I spend a few minutes each day in prayer. I usually combine it with a walk, bike ride, or just might sit quietly in reflection. Prayer has given me a great sense of peace and acceptance of where I’m at in my journey with PCa. If that’s not where you are at in life, you may want to consider something like meditation or perhaps even yoga to help you with mindfulness.

We are all on a journey of sorts and I believe that if you put your mind to it, you can find great enjoyment in life despite your health challenges. I am mentally tougher and more resilient now than before my diagnosis. I hope you get there too.

In the words of Winston Churchill: never give up!

Thanks, I always exercised outside (bike riding) as much as inside (gym). I'm medically cleared to return to bicycling on in mid-August so am literally just counting the days. I also do yoga once a week.

Congrats on being married for 50 years. That connection must help a lot.

I've had the opposite problem in that I've lost weight on ADT because I'm not hungry and don't eat enough. Not sure if that's because of my mental state vs. the ADT itself. But I'm being proactive, as I describe in my follow-up post, and have started counseling and have a "mentor" from Zero who went through prostate cancer and radiation 15 years ago and is still alive and kicking.

Thanks for the suggestions!

I

Scott,
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TODAY IS THE DAY YOU WORRIED ABOUT YESTERDAY .
Don't let worrying about tomorrow -- Spoil today .

I hear you with about eating. After the debulking surgery on my spine in 2021 (10+ hours under general anesthesia), my digestive system refused to restart -- something called an "Ileus", except that mine lasted a couple of weeks, which had the doctors and nurses worried. I had a suction tube down my nose into my stomach and was on I/V feeding for a while. Even after that, I struggled to make it to 500 cal/day, just like you, and lost 40 lb in a few weeks. I didn't really start recovering my appetite until I was cleared to transfer by myself from the hospital bed to the wheelchair (2½ months post-surgery), and could roll into the ward lounge to make my own PB toast and tea for breakfast.

For people who haven't experienced it, let me assure you that not being able to eat is far worse than overeating. I dreaded every time they bought the hospital meal trays around, because I knew I'd have to stare at it for an hour or more feeling nauseous until they came and took it away. I am concerned about the weight I gained later on ADT and ARSI, once my appetite came back and before I had recovered enough mobility to exercise, but my joy and gratitude at being able to sit in front of a plate of food and actually *want* to eat it is 100x bigger.

Very good. My version of that (for not worrying about the past, either) is "You can't drive a car with your eyes fixed on the rear-view mirror."