96 YO Mother fall questions

Hello woojr,
We had an Aunt who passed recently at the age of 98: She also drove daily for errands up until the day she passed away in her chair peacefully while watching a program. Our cousin purchased a fall alert system which can be worn about the neck or on the wrist of the individual. Perhaps you could talked with her providers and gather information regarding one of these devices.
Be careful regarding over paying for a device; there are many different makes and models. Talk it over with your Mom and get her reaction to the idea. It may be just what she needs.
Jofree

woojr, siri might work really well for your darling mom. She is computer literate, but even if she weren't siri might be a nice way for her to stay safe. Those walkers can be more of a hazard than a help, especially if she is in a hurry, as I'm sure she often is. While it can be easy to lose your balance when looking up or failing to look up while reading ( and moving or just standing still). I hate to mention because she does not like going to the doctor, that another TIA could have been in the equation. There would be no evidence of that now, but you might consult by phone with her physician. Sometimes daily aspirin can help, but often it is not a good idea.
I certainly don't want more troubles to and encourage you to write, but I do love hearing about your delightful mom.

I am sad reading about your mum's predicament. My soon-to-be 96 dad is in the same boat. He has used a walker since a bad fall 16 months ago that left him with two crushed vertebrae. Just today, I took him to emerg because he can't poop. They did workups, and found that he has two collapsed disks in addition to those two broken vertebrae. He's in abject pain, and his bowels are rebelling. Now he needs opioids to numb the pain, which also encourage constipation. A lose-lose. Plus the opioid is with Tylenol, so bad for the liver.

You mum will continue to fall. Whether it's a slipping vestibular system, dehydration, low sodium (very common in seniors, also called 'hyponatremia'), low pulse needing a pacemaker, or a pacemaker that needs reprogramming, or low blood pressure when standing (vasovagal syncope or 'postural hypotension'), or just that her inevitable and inexorable loss of muscle mass and sensation will make her slide and shuffle her toes more, meaning she'll stumble more often over those throw rugs..........................................................do you see where this is going?

Once falls begin…..they usually continue and increase in frequency. She probably can’t remember to use a walker or cane and even if she did…..it might not prevent a fall. Assisted Living can’t prevent the falls either, but they can be on hand to immediately assist in her aid if she’s injured or can’t get up.

Several months ago my mom lost her balance and even though standing right at her walker fell onto her side, breaking her right arm, cutting her head, injuring her knee and ankle….(We feel fortunate it wasn’t her hip, because that’s a much harder recovery.) She wasn’t able to move at all. The phone was out of her reach to call 911 or anyone. If I had not been there, she would have laid on the floor indefinitely. She was so scared, I think she might have suffered a cardiac event if she had no help for hours. Keeping the phone within reach 24/7 might not be feasible. I have also heard of seniors who fall who just can’t call for help even if the phone is nearby. Have you checked into Life Alert?

These and other reasons are why imo it’s good to have someone around at all times with a senior who is that advanced in age and who suffers with poor balance and falls. Being more careful usually doesn’t help.

I’d be inclined to stop the driving. A loss of balance while driving could be devastating.

My husband and I have multiple older female family members that had falls, and decisions had to be made for their care.
His aunt was moved to independent living, then assisted living. She did not enjoy her final years in those facilities.
His mom fell a few times at home alone, but had neighbors who watched for activity. She slept overnight on the floor after a fall one time, but insisted on staying in her home. Not too long after was diagnosed with lung cancer and passed away while in the hospital.
My mother fell 3 times and was sent to assisted living after rehab, otherwise healthy. She was very unhappy with the limited life there and passed away mainly from loss of interest in life.

Personally, I hope to live on my own until I fall, maybe break a hip, go to the hospital and pass away - potentially in my late 90s. Sure, I could live until over 100 based on family longevity. But I’d be satisfied with 5 less years if it meant being happy!

In my family, my sons are more likely to set up monitoring cameras to track my movements - and I'm fine with them in the larger rooms in the house. If they don’t see me come out of the bedroom all day, or in the kitchen, they’ll know to send someone over to check. If I lay on the floor for some hours, I'm okay with that. We probably all need to decide in advance what we would choose in these situations and let family know.

Immediately take away her car. A person who is prone to falling for no reason should not endanger herself and others by driving a vehicle and risking losing control when she suddenly 'falls' behind the wheel. She really should not be living alone.

@jofree Thanks so much for your experiences. My mother doesn't accept change very well. We looked at fall alerts and after checking her cell phone, she already pays for it in her plan. Unfortunately she only charges her phone when she wants to take it with her shopping or have it if she loses her electrical service. I think we'll talk about soon though since this fall is recent and she's a little sore.

@gently We're seeing the PCP today for another issue but the PCP will be happy to talk about anything. My wife and I were talking last night about whether she may have had a TIA. Her BP spikes every so often and after a routine visit back in Dec, she saw a new cardiologist who changed her BP med. Removed Amlodipine because he feared it might cause BP to drop and hence a fall. We were concerned about the change because we knew she'd spike and need it. Last week she called 911 and went to the ER because her BP hit close to 200 on top number. Of course they gave her Amlodipine and we brought her home a few hours later. The worst part about it was the ER was full of potential flu exposure. My wife has better knowledge about TIA's and I've deferred to her.
Mom has a neighbor next door who can get into her house and is a great, trustworthy fellow. However his job changed and his schedule is tight these days. Thanks so much for caring.

I’m in 95th year with a history of falls my family brought me to their home so I do not drive. I’m driven.
I do not cook or do laundry because of dizziness and weakness.
I am on 4th pacemaker, heart failure and many other things
I worked until age 77 or 78 trying to be independent but there is a time where you need some care. At 88 yrs I moved with family.
Now your mother has fallen many times from what you wrote.
She should not drive or live alone. If not with you there are lovely Assisted Living centers that are
Wonderful and welcoming.
In fact, I am shopping assisted living centers around me and will be moving in the next 90 days. Why,
I presently have gone up and down 20 steps to my bedroom lovely home but no bathroom or bedroom on 1st floor and I am becoming more frail as I age.
Good luck to you and your mothers visit to move with you or other care.

@gloaming Wow, so much information. You've hit the nail on the head. Her pulse is great and she's due to get a new battery in a few months. We've been seeing this coming is also spot on. In some ways I feel it's inevitable she'll fight to the end to stay in her home and will be forced to do whatever's necessary. I've seen my mother in law and father in law die in different circumstances and I think back about how we have some ability to manage aging but the helplessness of getting really old is enough to make getting back to sleep after a trip to the bathroom, difficult. At least it has the last few nights.
I also have had back surgeries and chronic pain. Thanks so much for your helpful comments. I'll be sharing all the comments with my wife. She's so good.