59 year old right corona radiata/internal capsule infarct (stroke).

Male, had this stroke 14 months ago. Full hemiplegia (left) for about 8 weeks. Slow regain movement in typical sequence...leg, arm, then extremities. Agonizing spasticity throughout (still today). The Nightmare: about 6-7 months post-stroke, dizziness/vertigo set in. Continuous worsening since - had to quit PT and OT as any kind of exertion worsened the vestibular issues. Now doing optometric specialty vestibular rehab. Not sure if this is working, and expensive. If cup half full, perhaps it is lessening the worsening, but only way to test, perhaps, is to stop therapy. Now I live inside a tidy universe, disconnected from the people and world around me. Completely debilitating. I'm trying to keep my job, pay for college for kids for next 6 years. Am "drunk" at all times, and have to try to conceal my condition and misery. Increasing desire to end the torment by any means...have begun to wish the stroke was fatal. Anyone out there have similar experience? Please spare me all the 'no, but I had this happen to me...'