33 years old: When should I start considering doing a Will a DNR etc?

Posted by lidiana @lidiana, Oct 21, 2022

Hello 👋🏻,
I have been trying to get accurate diagnosis and help but it’s been an absolute nightmare. I have come to realization that my health has declined significantly that I’m not sure if I should start doing end of life planning. I have been trying to get help for 11 months now, my body just feels like it can’t manage no more. I have been treated very unfair but I’m holding to my God and praying for a miracle.

Please let me know you thought. I have never been in this situation or done even consider something like this. I’m 33yo. I lost everything except my faith. Also any prayers, good vibes or guidance would be greatly appreciated. I’m eternally grateful 🌼🙏🏻🦓

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Hello, @lidiana I'm Scott and you raise a very important question about any of us being prepared for whatever life may have in store for us. I wish you well with your health conditions and hope for answers for you!

My wife was diagnosed with a significant disease in her 40s and thankfully we moved immediately to prepare all of our necessary paperwork for our future decisions and needs. I have been forever grateful we took those steps early!

So I'd say it's never too early to do this paperwork!

By doing this, in a lot of ways, you are taking care of yourself in very meaningful ways!

We did a will, basic estate plan since we had children, all of our medical directives, appointed who we wanted to have our power of attorney for financial affairs, our medical POAs, and final wishes. We also made our HIPPA decisions, which helped a great deal to have the doctors know who they could communicate directly with regarding her care, etc.

It's never easy or comfortable, but I'd say its a hugely important step for you to take!

Strength, Courage, & Peace

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@lidiana. I did my will, and advance directive when I was 48 years old (I'm now 70) and did not have any significant health problems at that time. I've revised these over the years as needed for my circumstances. Do you have children? It's never too early in my estimation to get these plans in place.

You can find resources on the internet and do these yourself or work with an estate planning attorney.

I hope you get some information and an accurate diagnosis very soon.

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Thank you so much for sharing this me I really appreciate it. I did a simple Will from a website (need to have 2 people signed) but I think I should do review it and edit it. I can’t even seem to have anyone that would help or want to participate in this. I needed two signatures to validate it with the attorney or something according to the website instructions. I signed a document by my PCP for intubation just to allow my family to reach me since they are far. I don’t own anything and I don’t have children. Basic miscellaneous things can be shared and I kinda sorted them to love ones, family members or charities on the document 📄. My family members and close circle don’t really understand me. Thanks again I really appreciate all the feedback. Blessings 🙏🏻🌼

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@lidiana What have your doctors told you about your health? What is changing that makes you think that your health is deteriorating? I have lived a lot of years not knowing exactly what was going on in my body, but that’s ok. I pay attention, and sometimes it’s a clue from years past that leads to an answer. Doctors don’t always know either. They follow clues that you give them. Do you have a symptom that you feel is serious right now?

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@lidiana

Thank you so much for sharing this me I really appreciate it. I did a simple Will from a website (need to have 2 people signed) but I think I should do review it and edit it. I can’t even seem to have anyone that would help or want to participate in this. I needed two signatures to validate it with the attorney or something according to the website instructions. I signed a document by my PCP for intubation just to allow my family to reach me since they are far. I don’t own anything and I don’t have children. Basic miscellaneous things can be shared and I kinda sorted them to love ones, family members or charities on the document 📄. My family members and close circle don’t really understand me. Thanks again I really appreciate all the feedback. Blessings 🙏🏻🌼

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@lidiana. This all sounds good. It's most important to make sure that you have made your own decisions that are documented in an Advance Directive that may or may not include a DNR. This way your family and loved ones know what you want in case you are not able to advocate for yourself.

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@lidiana

Thank you so much for sharing this me I really appreciate it. I did a simple Will from a website (need to have 2 people signed) but I think I should do review it and edit it. I can’t even seem to have anyone that would help or want to participate in this. I needed two signatures to validate it with the attorney or something according to the website instructions. I signed a document by my PCP for intubation just to allow my family to reach me since they are far. I don’t own anything and I don’t have children. Basic miscellaneous things can be shared and I kinda sorted them to love ones, family members or charities on the document 📄. My family members and close circle don’t really understand me. Thanks again I really appreciate all the feedback. Blessings 🙏🏻🌼

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...as far as I know at least in Canada a hand written will with no signatures is legal. Also, the two witnesses are witnessing that the person signed the Will in their presence...those witnesses do not even have to read the Will... up to the person making it -they are witnessing the signature... make sure they print their name/s and sign and put the date; also not a bad idea to even have their addresses/phone numbers.... I believe i am correct on this... but may be different in USA

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@jenniferhunter

@lidiana What have your doctors told you about your health? What is changing that makes you think that your health is deteriorating? I have lived a lot of years not knowing exactly what was going on in my body, but that’s ok. I pay attention, and sometimes it’s a clue from years past that leads to an answer. Doctors don’t always know either. They follow clues that you give them. Do you have a symptom that you feel is serious right now?

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I have been completely transparent with my doctors from reports, images, pictures and videos to explain all my symptoms. I have more findings and I have been asking for biopsies or gold standard testing for particular things and had been dismissed. I’m extremely exhausted and sick. My symptoms started 11 months ago and now are worse; abdominal pain, bone pain (new spots in bone scan dismissed), shortness of breath, stiffness, heart rate with pain (new thickening of the mitral valve prolapse), light color period, low iron, new cyst on my spine neura foramina (PET scan uptake there), blood spots on skin, bladder retention, chronic inflammatory changes on bladder biopsy on a hypervascular spot, edema lymphic aggreggates on colon biopsy, new cysts on both ovaries (in lil time difference), involuntary movements, headaches, nausea, vomiting, weakness, feel I’m going to pass out, pale, yellow and gray lips. I just want to able to breath, eat, use restroom and walk normally. ❤️‍🩹🦓

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....am truly sorry to read about your situation and health issues. After I returned home from cancer treatment out of town in 1985, I was 43 and given a forty per cent chance of living five years.
I copied a form from Internet and typed my own Will and had neighbours witness my signature. In the years after and our family discussions, also then typed my husband's and two adult children's ... although one daughter ended up getting it redone at a Lawyer's once her financial situation changed and she paid a lot for it to be done and it was almost same wording! Years ago they had in Canada a LIVING WILL which again I typed for the four of us... then a Do Not Resuscitate. In my humble opinion, it is never too early to have these documents prepared, signed, and put away somewhere safe; if Beneficiaries are named, they say it is a good idea to tell them they are Beneficiaries and where a copy of the Will is kept - if done with a Lawyer they often keep original/copy but if no one knows where copy of Will is then its a long legal process. Our government gives free forms on line for Power of Attorney for financial, and one for health, should a person not be in a position to make decisions while ill etc., but as soon as a person passes, their Will becomes valid not the powers of attorney. Also you can tear up your powers of attorney at any time if you change your minds as to who you have named. Last year I bought a book written by a Canadian Nurse, YVONNE HEATH, Called Love Your Life To Death and it is not a depressing read at all... she has seen over the years families arguing over what their loved one,who passed, wanted to happen etc., and she - and I - feel do not wait until we are sick to get our wishes in writing and advise our families now what we want.... even if we are in best of health... she kindly explains that none of us live forever and if all this legal paperwork is done it can be put away and the family, who will be grieving, will be able to carry out their loved ones wishes.
I hope this doesnt sound too morbid.... but once our family did all this, we just put it all in a safe place known to all, and got on with our lives.
Also here if one dies without a Will the government takes over and it can be very taxing on families. Sorry if this is upsetting but if anyone would like a copy of this particular book I would be glad to buy it and mail it to you.... or you can read about her thoughts about it all on Internet. 💙

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@lidiana

I have been completely transparent with my doctors from reports, images, pictures and videos to explain all my symptoms. I have more findings and I have been asking for biopsies or gold standard testing for particular things and had been dismissed. I’m extremely exhausted and sick. My symptoms started 11 months ago and now are worse; abdominal pain, bone pain (new spots in bone scan dismissed), shortness of breath, stiffness, heart rate with pain (new thickening of the mitral valve prolapse), light color period, low iron, new cyst on my spine neura foramina (PET scan uptake there), blood spots on skin, bladder retention, chronic inflammatory changes on bladder biopsy on a hypervascular spot, edema lymphic aggreggates on colon biopsy, new cysts on both ovaries (in lil time difference), involuntary movements, headaches, nausea, vomiting, weakness, feel I’m going to pass out, pale, yellow and gray lips. I just want to able to breath, eat, use restroom and walk normally. ❤️‍🩹🦓

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@lidiana You seem to have 2 questions/problems here: the need for life documents and your health. I think the other members have given good advice on Living Wills and DNR orders.
The bigger question seems to be changes in your health. It’s can be frequent, and not unusual, for doctors to “dismiss” female patients. That happened to me and made the time getting a diagnosis much longer. You might want to find a comprehensive medical center near you and see i you can get help there. You might also keep a journal of your symptoms: frequency, intensity, major changes, what makes them better or worse. Being sick is very difficult. You need to learn how to advocate for yourself.
Is there anyone who could come and help you organize?

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@becsbuddy

@lidiana You seem to have 2 questions/problems here: the need for life documents and your health. I think the other members have given good advice on Living Wills and DNR orders.
The bigger question seems to be changes in your health. It’s can be frequent, and not unusual, for doctors to “dismiss” female patients. That happened to me and made the time getting a diagnosis much longer. You might want to find a comprehensive medical center near you and see i you can get help there. You might also keep a journal of your symptoms: frequency, intensity, major changes, what makes them better or worse. Being sick is very difficult. You need to learn how to advocate for yourself.
Is there anyone who could come and help you organize?

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Thank you so much 🙏🏻 I did ask for advice on this end of life planning cuz I’m feeling really sick but in sharing I discovered it’s very normal to do this and be prepared regardless of the situation. About the symptoms well I have been documenting everything on a binder chronologically and my phone. But I’ll definitely try to be more specific but I can see a pattern related to digestion and menses. I’m taking out dairy and refined sugars to see if my inflammation can go down. But I’m trying to build a local team since it’s to hard for me to go up there for treatment. I still want to keep my main team at Mayo since they are experts but I need locals that are willing to or are already educated on what ever rare conditions I have or could be diagnosed, including the comorbidities. It’s really hard but I believe together we could work for the benefit of my health. Above all I’ll keep having my faith 🙏🏻🌼 Blessings 🙏🏻

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