1. < Mental Health

Missing Manic Me

Posted by bpforlife @bpforlife, Dec 23, 2023

My meds are keeping me from getting manic, but I am really missing manic me. I miss the energy and the love of life,the ability to get things done and to think clearly and fast. The meds have dulled my senses, taken away my zest for life and my creativity, made me into a shell of my former self, impaired and slowed my thinking and caused serious memory issues. I know it is dangerous, but I want to feel the mania again and get out of this dull depressed existence.

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denakoz1 | @denakoz1 | Jan 15 9:24pm
In reply to @jillshurman49 "Are you satisfied with your Dr.? If not, are you able to research or get a..." + (show)
@jillshurman49

Are you satisfied with your Dr.?
If not, are you able to research or get a recommendation from someone you know? I’m asking because I’ve seen this a number of times-

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What have you seen a number of times? And what is it like when someone is manic and your not, because I felt like I was right and everyone else was wrong, nobody usually thinks that deep into things, I do that normally to, and everything just goes over my head, well I got to feel like I was 17 again before I had my children, it was great, and I feel like I got to see what everything was like and Understand sense of humor,

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denakoz1 | @denakoz1 | Jan 15 9:37pm
In reply to @connollymom4 "I know what it feels like to finally find meds that work for you just feel..." + (show)
@connollymom4

I know what it feels like to finally find meds that work for you just feel dulled, like a different version of yourself. I can’t get too excited, too happy or too loving but I also can’t get too depressed or too sad. And it really irritates me. But, think of this, it irritated me so much that I went off of my meds. Just for two weeks. And I now am facing my first felony charge ever for a shoplifting violation that I did while I was completely manic!! I don’t know how I got out of being hospitalized, but I’m stabilizing myself at home with the help of my psychiatrist. This has sucked so bad and I’m facing 5 years in jail. Don’t go off your meds. Please. We are on them for a very good reason. I know it sucks to not feel the way we used to but it’s just too dangerous for us. I wish you the best of luck!

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Also, maybe my family just doesn’t like the person I am on or off meds, I know my mother in law stopped talking to me over not taking my meds and getting removed from my home, my own mother & family wouldn’t take me in before it got out of hand so being homeless for 6 months, the worst thing about all of this is that I was looking for a treatment center out of town away from here on my own and they called on me again, my kids didn’t and don’t understand why I was Verbally Torturing my husband, about cheating where was the money, and He was sick with lumps everywhere, wasn’t going to the doctor couldn’t go to work, we were in the process of losing the house, we have no car and they were concerned about me taking my meds. So I Eventually came home and 50 pounds heavier, miserable because of my knees and feet because of the weight and my husband is still sick and lying about going to work still, we still have no car, I haven’t seen a paycheck since I got home, so who is really crazy? I know it wasn’t all in my head. And to be honest with you on medicine my daughter told me that I was a horrible person while she was growing up so I’ve tried my hardest and Came to the conclusion they don’t like me. I am a great soul and they already judged me and decided what they think. Nothing can change anyone’s mind in this house, I have tried so hard to make my good soul shine and they just remember me being a devil, I guess. well that’s what it feels like anyways.

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