How do you deal with aging?

Posted by prcrowe @prcrowe, Jan 1 10:04pm

How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life? I'm turning 80 years old in 5 months, am in quite good health, work fulltime, and am incredibly grateful for the life I have. But, I find myself obsessed with the thought that I only have "x" amount of years left in my life. I've never figured out how to live one day at a time. Any suggestions from those of you around my age or older would be SO appreciated! (I'm "kind of" spiritual, but not really religious so that's not something that seems to help with my fear.)

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@thisismarilynb

I really don't know what to make of what I have been reading. My initial feeling is that you obsess too much on your age. It's not the numbers. It's how you feel. I acknowledge that some of you have serious ailments that complicate things and must be factored into the equation. But for the rest of us we (or I) just keep going on. I am 89 years old. I lost my husband two years ago. We had been married for 59 years and it is still rough. However I am living independently. With the help of a cleaning person who comes every three weeks, I am able to do everything myself. I am also able to drive myself wherever I need to go. Even on the freeways. It's true I am not making any long range plans, but I have a cruise planned for the summer. As long as my health stays the way it is I am just going to go on without letting my age take over.

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I am so sorry about the loss of your husband. 🙁 You are absolutely correct in your comment about me obsessing too much on my age. I sometimes jokingly say that I inherited the "worry gene" from my mother. 😉 She definitely did not worry about aging though. Enjoy your upcoming cruise!

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@prcrowe

You certainly have a wonderful attitude about aging. Your comments about everything you and your husband are doing in retirement reminded me of something my mother said years ago. She retired at 65 and made a conscious decision to keep active. She volunteered for so many organizations (all involved with helping people) that she commented that she was "busier" than the years she was working fulltime! 🙂

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Thank you very much for your kind words. My husband and I often proclaim and purpose to make our latter days to be spent better than our former days.

Happy living best living your best latter days!! 🍽️ 🎺 🥂🚗✈️ ⛑️

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@mydogsbestfriend

One thing I did not mention. Although I realize ‘social media ‘ is an important and necessary way for people to keep in touch, I am not in any of those groups ( except here 🙂 ). I do have a pen pal of over 30 years, it started as a thing for people wanting a rural lifestyle ( the whole shebang with animals etc). Well that never worked out until I moved to 6 acres 18 months ago. But I did connect with a lady with a background similar to mine. She never got her rural lifestyle either except for gardening. I have no animals now and probably will never have any. But she & I have written each other for over 30 years & call each
other sister. I never had one though she does. We both have health concerns, hers more serious than mine. But we look forward to each other’s letters ( yes written and mailed!). We change Christmas & birthday gifts. I hope to meet her on a future trip, she is 3 states away.

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How wonderful to have had a penpal for over 30 years! Hopefully, you'll be able to meet in person one day. I continue to stay in touch with cousins and friends I've had since childhood. 🙂

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@prcrowe

How wonderful to have had a penpal for over 30 years! Hopefully, you'll be able to meet in person one day. I continue to stay in touch with cousins and friends I've had since childhood. 🙂

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I’m very grateful for my pen pal. My cousins don’t stay in touch except at funerals 😒

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@prcrowe

You sound absolutely amazing! I definitely want to be just like YOU in 10 years!! 🙂

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Thanks

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I am 71. About every ten years I say to myself, 'Holy cow...I can remember wondering what it will be like to reach (whichever age I find myself while musing this). Meanwhile, I am active in a garden and in keeping a home and wife...who isn't aging particularly well if I'm being honest. Lots of issues, some seriously eroding her quality of life. I have at least three substantial hobbies with substantial (for my earning history, which is decidedly modest) investments of time, creativity, travel, and materials. HO scale trains and photography (see my gallery under 'gloaming' in the gallery section at DPReview website if you'd like), but also music, history, astronomy, and choral singing. I also volunteer, and that, alone, is one of the keys to staying healthy. It keeps you active, in communication with people outside your home, and it makes you have to think about things that might not be your favourite pastimes.

Walk, daily. Just 30 minutes is enough, but make that the task, not part of some other enterprise like raking the leaves. Eat sparingly, and avoid excesses of alcohol and simple carbohydrates. Do some strength training, muscle rolling, and stretching. Get enough rest, have contacts who email you or text you daily. And sometimes get out of your comfort zone. Pick up a new language or other skill. Hobbies are good for that.

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You sound awesome and I'm definitely going to follow through with a number of your suggestions. One of the first ones that you mentioned and that I've neglected dreadfully the past couple of years is the daily walking. I used to love doing that and just became lazy about adding that to my daily routines. Unfortunately, it became far to easy to say, "not today." I need to remember, "If not now ... when?!" I'm extremely fortunate to be able to continue working fulltime and I volunteer for a number of wonderful organizations. Working from home much of the time also made me get into the VERY bad habit of overeating. Well, tomorrow is Monday so I think that's the perfect time to stop overeating and to get out and go for a long walk! 😉

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@gloaming

I am 71. About every ten years I say to myself, 'Holy cow...I can remember wondering what it will be like to reach (whichever age I find myself while musing this). Meanwhile, I am active in a garden and in keeping a home and wife...who isn't aging particularly well if I'm being honest. Lots of issues, some seriously eroding her quality of life. I have at least three substantial hobbies with substantial (for my earning history, which is decidedly modest) investments of time, creativity, travel, and materials. HO scale trains and photography (see my gallery under 'gloaming' in the gallery section at DPReview website if you'd like), but also music, history, astronomy, and choral singing. I also volunteer, and that, alone, is one of the keys to staying healthy. It keeps you active, in communication with people outside your home, and it makes you have to think about things that might not be your favourite pastimes.

Walk, daily. Just 30 minutes is enough, but make that the task, not part of some other enterprise like raking the leaves. Eat sparingly, and avoid excesses of alcohol and simple carbohydrates. Do some strength training, muscle rolling, and stretching. Get enough rest, have contacts who email you or text you daily. And sometimes get out of your comfort zone. Pick up a new language or other skill. Hobbies are good for that.

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Agree with you on walking 30 minutes a day. I aim for so many steps a day, usually 2500. I purposely go to the store early mornings and walk around at least 20 minutes shopping.

I took Spanish in college and used it moderately during my various careers remembering some words but not enough for conversations.

However, overtime like anything else if you don't use it regularly you will loose your proficiency.

I started relearning it last year. I was encouraged by daughter who is learning Japanese to pick it up again. I was learning the Japanese alphabet but that language has to many rules.

For sure I will learn Spanish again one day at a time. I am in no hurry it comes in handy on road trips.

Make your latter be better than your former days! Embrace every moment with gratitude! 😁👏

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@riana1

This is a great topic! However, it appears answers are based on sickness and caretaking and shifted from the author's original question, "How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life?"

Personally, my husband and I don't associate age with lifespan.
Death can occur at any age. We live in a society where baby boomers are attending their children and children's children funerals.

How do I handle aging? With gratitude. I tell God throughout my day thank you for everything. I am so thankful for all God has given me. I could have been dead sleeping in my grave but God made old dead behave. Lord you are so good.

We all got a date with death. I believe there's a heaven and a hell and I always tell people don't let death catch you in your sins.

Like you we are fairly healthy but enjoying retirement. We choose not to work our life away but use the rest of our days doing things we didn't do when we were parenting. Road Trips!!! 🎺Jazz Concerts!!! Sleeping in! Volunteer Work! Contractors Work when we want to! We are living our best life not focusing on death, toxic relationships or rainy days and Mondays.😁

We are retired and going to live, love, laugh, eat, drink, take time to smell the roses, and be happy together until God say times up.

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Good attitude.

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@riana1

Agree with you on walking 30 minutes a day. I aim for so many steps a day, usually 2500. I purposely go to the store early mornings and walk around at least 20 minutes shopping.

I took Spanish in college and used it moderately during my various careers remembering some words but not enough for conversations.

However, overtime like anything else if you don't use it regularly you will loose your proficiency.

I started relearning it last year. I was encouraged by daughter who is learning Japanese to pick it up again. I was learning the Japanese alphabet but that language has to many rules.

For sure I will learn Spanish again one day at a time. I am in no hurry it comes in handy on road trips.

Make your latter be better than your former days! Embrace every moment with gratitude! 😁👏

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Thanks for sharing! I took 3 years of French and discovered that I was dreadful at learning languages. It was especially embarassing considering that my parents were refugees and were fluent in several languages. 😉

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