Missing Manic Me

Please note that I DO NOT have bipolar so I don’t know how it feels. But here’s my opinion. Ima try and keep it short but there could be a couple of things.
Wrong meds it might help to find some better ones even though it will be a hard/long thing.
Maybe you’re just going to have to learn to live with it 🙁 so try to find anything thing that gives you back that zest for life!
Try to keep your mind alive with mind puzzles
It could be a to high dose?
If I wear you I would try to talk to someone like a doctor or even therapist.
Please don’t just cold turkey your meds tho.
Like I said I have know idea what’s it’s like but I do believe I had a “maniac” episode and your right I miss not needing much sleep, not being tired, having SO many ideas, cleaning out my Entire room, and just making myself laugh. Then I crashed and it was awful! But the real kicker was, I “hurt” many people my mom, my family, and friends. I said some messed up things, got them into some trouble, and they didn’t like who I was and some even said I was off putting. Like I said I have NO idea what it’s like but I think some of that may be true to you and while it might feel nice for you it will not for others. Sorry for the long story but I do want the best for you and I believe in you. This might seem weird but if you want I would love to hear some updates on how you’re doing.❤️

Thank you for your comments. You are right that while I enjoy being manic, others do not like me in this state and I can do some bad things. I just miss the good parts of mania....feel like I am robbed of these aspects of myself. It took a long time to find the right combo of meds and achieve a partial remission. I don’t want to throw that away, just wish I could quit temporarily to feel that manic high and accomplish some things without the side effects.

I’m sorry I feel like this I do t want to sound harsh but sadly I think this is just another bad thing about mental health that even with medication you will not feel whole. All I can say is do stuff you love to do or used to love. Hang out with friends and family. Maybe get a cat? If you don’t think that will work it might help to make sure the foods you eat don’t mess with your meds. Get good sleep not to much or to little. I know this won’t make you feel like you once did but now your on the path to great success.
ALSO I think it’s vary common of people to stop taking meds and all I can say is try and be strong it never works out in the long run

@bpforlife The end goal of management of any mental health disorder, it seems, is to be able to function more consistently on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes therapy, or in-depth introspection, or medications will be on our path to that consistency.

I do not have a bipolar diagnosis. But I do take a medication once a week with my cancer treatment, that gives me an "Energizer bunny" burst of adrenaline and energy for about 36-48 hours. Usually I accomplish a lot, but then crash when the effects wear off! So, making sure my diet is healthy, trying to add in moderate exercise, and getting good rest becomes key to helping me stay as productive as possible the rest of the week. It's a balancing act, to be sure!

Perhaps if you can train yourself to look at how much better you feel overall, and work on spreading the good energy you feel [physical and mental] throughout your days, may help. What do you think?
Ginger

Good suggestions.
I have 4 cats. LOL
My husband is dead and my daughter is 2700 miles away at college. I miss them so much. I'm pretty much a recluse and don't have any friends.
I have always had sleep issues. My psychiatrist keeps telling me, "Sleep is medicine." I work at it constantly.
My therapist reminds me that if I stop the meds, my psychiatrist will no longer see me. I have a good team of doctors and had to wait a long time to get in with my psychiatrist. He worked very slowly and carefully to find the right combo of meds and helped me out of a couple sticky situations, so I don't want to lose him. At the same time, it is as you say, "even with medication you will not feel whole." The side effects are frustrating. I was a train wreck after my husband died and until my meds were balanced. Still, I was undiagnosed and untreated for many years and recall fondly some of the things I accomplished when manic and when my mind was on fire.

I'm so sorry that you have cancer. It is such an awful disease. I had cancer and chemo several years ago, so I can relate.
You are right about diet, rest, and exercise. I suck at all 3 and have trouble being consistent at anything.
Most of the time I remind myself to stay on my meds for my daughter. I can't do it for me, but I can for her. I think it is not so much a matter of feeling good on the meds, as it is not destroying and losing everything, not ending up in jail or doing something I cannot repair.

Hello, I just wanted to share, I feel that I wasn’t manic when I got off all of my meds, I had zero support my family, they were used to me being submissive and over weight, I felt like I was on a spiritual journey after I suffered 2 years of my 20 yrs of mistakes with no Mercy , then I got to see and be me. It was amazingly beautiful. I went back to my normal weight when I was in high school before all those meds, it was like being in another world everyone was hiding. Then I got thrown in the bin and gain 50 pounds in 1 month. I have been the same since.

Are you satisfied with your Dr.?
If not, are you able to research or get a recommendation from someone you know? I’m asking because I’ve seen this a number of times-

I know what it feels like to finally find meds that work for you just feel dulled, like a different version of yourself. I can’t get too excited, too happy or too loving but I also can’t get too depressed or too sad. And it really irritates me. But, think of this, it irritated me so much that I went off of my meds. Just for two weeks. And I now am facing my first felony charge ever for a shoplifting violation that I did while I was completely manic!! I don’t know how I got out of being hospitalized, but I’m stabilizing myself at home with the help of my psychiatrist. This has sucked so bad and I’m facing 5 years in jail. Don’t go off your meds. Please. We are on them for a very good reason. I know it sucks to not feel the way we used to but it’s just too dangerous for us. I wish you the best of luck!

Really so are bipolar people dangerous? I just don’t understand the mental illness of it I feel like my meds make me very angry I was on them after I had my second daughter 17 years ago, And all she could tell me was what a horrible mother I was and I’m blaming the medication because if I was myself maybe I wouldn’t have been so terrible to her while she grow up, I was mean, They diagnosed me with bipolar because I was on ecstasy when I was 17 years old, I believe i only had adhd, but my ex-boyfriend told my mother I took Ecstasy and my mom got scared and sent me to the hospital high on ecstasy, They gave me a Klonopin riddin and respdone, my mom took me off the meds after being in the hospital for a month when I was 17, she said I wasn’t myself, My mother made a very bad decision sending me in there with my state of mind I was in it was a mistake , I didn’t have a chance to finish my Spiritual journey, and I told her way before I took that pill that my ex-boyfriend was doing drugs and here I was doing them with him, she took his word over mine, and believed him, so now my mind and Vision is permanently messed up from some kind of brain scan they did with goggles and lights in my eyes, I still see the patterns from those goggles to this day and in the sun there is fast zigzags in the clouds without my sunglasses and the back of my head hurts and feels fried, So I went back through all those feeling from fatty tissue and the pain when I got off the meds because the back of my head would hurt when I would feel any any real emotion, love, Nervousness, etc. so years later I had my first daughter I started feeling that angry weird strange feeling inside and decided to take meds again, And when I got off the medication two years ago well it took a long time for the meds to leave my bloodstream, I’ll tell you that. I have no idea what the half life is all about, but I was hallucinating and everything and I was crying for probably a year from all the mistakes I made with my family and putting my husband through hell on meds. I am looking into doing Hiawasse tea