I was sexually abused by my dad while my mom watched.

Posted by 1pjf @1pjf, Dec 22, 2023

I have a very long story! As a little girl, I never sat on my dad’s lap without crying, but I sat on my uncles all the time. I have stitches above my eye, I don’t really know what happened my parents told two different stories. I had ammonia and in the hospital for 10 days at 9 mos. My mom never came to visit, my dad only on his lunch hour. The dr. Keep. Track? Plus I found out this year I had a collapsed lung some time in my life. The doctors told me I would remember that kind of pain, even as young as two or three. But I don’t and it’s not in my medical history at all. They also said the fact I lived through it was a miracle in its self. Because of my collapsed lung I now have a collapsed trachea every time I exhale. I was also mentally and physically abused by them. I will add to my story later.

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Chris Trout, Volunteer Mentor | @artscaping | Dec 30, 2023

Good evening @1pjf......tonight I am with you.......and have read your story several times. You are brave! You are worthy! You are free to stand up for yourself! It appears that you continue to need legitimate and meaningful support not only from your therapist but also from our legal and court system. It is wonderful that you have a kind and loving husband. And I hope he provides you with shelter, safety, and protection.

At this point what do you think your life can give you? Self-respect, pleasant memories, and a special kind of motivation that supports your efforts to be acknowledged for your intelligence, patience, and contributions to our society's habits of humanitarian protection. The motivation has to come from you.....the encouragement can be fortified by professionals and friends who are committed to being by your side regardless of the situation.

Yes, you can stand up for yourself. I would love to stand with you. You have taken me back to another part of my 81 years when I was heavily involved in family therapy. When I was living in a small town on the East Coast, I was connected to a college for most of the 1970s as a student counselor and human relations instructor. During that time, my husband, who had a similar education, became the Dean of Students. We decided to volunteer some of our time and training to do bonus work for a family counseling center called "People's Place". One of our assignments was a court-ordered case that was very similar to your situation. After getting to know the family as a group, we scheduled individual sessions with the family members before closing the morning with a group discussion.

Tonight, my memory is working hard because of your posts and I can recall the visual expressions on faces as the story unfolded. Suffice it to say.......even after months of therapy, progress was not only slow but also fragmented. We discovered that every member of the family was enduring highly disturbing emotions and behaviors. Unfortunately, the daughter's protection from abuse never seemed to last very long and the father's effort was insufficient. The only thing that he thoroughly understood was that he would be confined to prison and restricted from contact with his daughter should he fail to treat her with respect and consideration for her mental and physical well-being.

So.....dear @1pjf. Sometimes you need strong support to help you stand up for yourself. Please feel free to continue your story on Connect. Our members are helpful and compassionate. I will also be here for you.

May you be safe, protected, and free of inner and outer harm.
Chris

peaches1234 | @peaches1234 | Dec 30, 2023

In reply to @1pjf "My story is so very long. I am getting counseling so I would like to think..." + (show)

@1pjf

My story is so very long. I am getting counseling so I would like to think I am dealing with my anxiety fairly well? I guess that’s why I am writing, to ask how and what I can do differently!! But first I have to give you more of my story. Please forgive me for any mistakes I make writing I have SLE (Lupus, HPOA, RA, my trachea collapses every time I exhale, and tuners on my spine.). It’s hard I get tried easy.

Ok as I was growing up I was called a crybaby all the time. My dad would say come on 1Pjf cry come on cry, he would just keep on and on!! Wouldn’t stop! But he would do this in front on my uncles, aunts, and friends it was so embarrassing he wouldn’t stop that finally I would cry. After I started to cry he would call me a crybaby and hit me on my head send me to my room. He and my family called me fat all the time! I was 106 pounds at 20 and I still called fat in-font of friends and people I didn’t know. I was very fat, in fact my sisters were heavier than me?
My older sister and I wanted to go hunting with my cousins during deer hunting season. We asked dad for years if we could come, finally he said yes. Only one could come, he picked me. My sister being the older one was really upset! It made me feel so good. The next day, dad didn’t meet up with his big hunting buddies? We went into the woods by ourselves? He took me right to 3 bar wire fence, I couldn’t climb over it or go underneath it because of the deep snow. I asked dad for help, he said you wanted to come you deal with it. By the time I made it to the other side, dad was almost out of sight, but I couldn’t keep up the snow was to deep! And now the hunters dad hunts with are shooting and don’t even know I am out there. I remember praying so hard and crying. That’s why he picked me!
It was like that all my life, he would say things like, you know 1Pjf, and she would never amount to anything, do something with your hair, take off that make up. I had to buy my own clothes, shampoo , shoe, at age 13. I had to burrow my mom money but a lot of times she didn’t pay me back. I babysit. They made me give my older sister money. I worked really hard for my money but I could never feel secure with my money.
My sisters could never do anything wrong, I could never do anything right. I was afraid of heights they would make me do things that I would just shake. Playing games they all would pick on me, I would go in my closet at night and cry plus pray and hard that God would take me!! There is so much so much! But now I am 16 and my grandfather sexually abused me for the last time, this affects me hard. I didn’t tell anyone who would I tell? I spin and loose who I am. But I am starting to look nice and guys notice me. I can’t date guys longer the once or twice in fear of sexual assault again. I finally meet my husband, but I try to brake up with him all the time. I didn’t think I could be a wife. I thought he was a great guy! It was all about who I was! Finally I tell him, he treats me like I was gold. We talked and talked he understood everything, he was my answer to my prayers!, Gods gift to me! I can’t tell you how great of a guy he is!!
But my family still can’t leave me alone? Dad calls the cops on me said I was steeling. I never stool ! He sat in his living room with rifles next to his chair. And bullets next too them. He was always bad at me, but we were the only ones that would help him. He would call me up any day and start swearing at me I couldn’t say a word and he would end every call with. I bought you into this world I can take you out. Mom would make up lies then call my sisters tell them I did this or that and always believe her! My mom even called the cops told them I was going to kill myself and I have guns. They closed my road, and there were cops all over my neighborhood pointing guns at my house. The called my husband home from work, but I wasn’t even home . But the cops were there waiting for me . Now my mom husband die, in the obituary she listed her daughters I wasn’t listed, but my kids were? There is so much more! I stayed silence. And yet they can’t give me up. I can’t understand it.

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I HAVE LUPUS AS WELL AND HEART DISEASE ALSO ECT

denakoz1 | @denakoz1 | Jan 15 9:53pm

Hello, I am truly sorry. I wanted to know if you feel like talking in here, Do you have any mental health problems and do you feel tortured in your mind when you’re not on meds if you are on meds?

1pjf | @1pjf | Feb 10 8:28pm

I have a counselor, I have been going to for over 5 years. I would be ok if my family would just leave me alone. I don’t want anything to do with my family. I haven’t talked to my sisters in eights and my mom way longer than that. My mom did something that was unexpected and unforgettable seven years ago, I just can’t say because it’s so embarrassing for me and 110% percent horrible for me. Then have talked to my one daughter about me to the point where my daughter doesn’t want anything to do with me! I am just tried of them hurting me they just can’t seem to stop. I don’t talk to them go to parties where I know they could be! I don’t want then in my life at all. But they always find a way to hurt me!