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Help on what to expect for lung cancer caregiver
Lung Cancer | Last Active: Jan 7 2:13pm | Replies (12)Comment receiving replies
Hi Pam, thank you. I will try that.
The problem is that mom doesn’t want to know. I live with her, have never dealt with this cancer, and maybe I don’t want to know either. But I kind of need to. I can message or call her doctor but they will put in on her “Past visits” file and she will be upset. That’s why I came here, to get an idea of what others are going through. For instance, she is always cold, which I understand is typical, but sometimes she gets hot even if the house is a bit chilly. And now she has gout in her foot, never had that before. She did message her doctor about that, waiting to hear back.
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through it too. Hope all goes well for you.
Sending positive energy,
Laurie
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@environmom - Laurie- Hello, it's nice to meet you. It's very, very difficult as a daughter when a parent is extremely ill. I don't know if any of us are prepared However, I think that your mom has given you help in the form of hints. She doesn't want to know about or do anything about her cancer. I'm afraid that you will have to accept this.
At this point, I think that going forward is your best bet and not lamenting what could have been. That's a guilt trip that you don't need or want. No matter how you see this, your mom has chosen not to help herself. I believe that your job is to help make her as comfortable as possible. When you take her to the doctor, ask him what kinds of things will help her remain comfortable. The symptoms that you state are common both to her medication and her lack of nutrition. Her symptoms, as her disease continues to spread, will increase.
I agree with @dragonspark about using Google to find information about her condition. I would, however, use it to look up word definitions, etc. I also agree with looking into palliative care. You would do this through her doctor's office. And a second opinion, unless your mother objects, might be worthwhile.
As the cancer continues to spread, it will affect her appetite. You can't force her to eat. Will she drink a protein smoothie?
You have been extremely honest about how your mother feels about her future. Have you asked her what she wants as far as her care?
Another group that I would recommend for you is the caregiver's group.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers/
Many conversations might answer your questions.
Watching your mom right know must be heartbreaking. I understand this. I was a caregiver for my mom who had another illness. Until this sort of situation happens, no one knows what to expect. Each person is different and each person's illnesses affect them differently.
https://www.cancercenter.com/stage-four-cancer
Laurie- I can tell you are doing your best and might feel at wit's end. Some other basic things you can do is make sure that her legal papers have been drawn up. Does she have a will? Are you on her bank accounts as a co-signer?
How else can I help?