My husband was just diagnosed with CLL and I am a nervous wreck. We were hoping his levels were just elevated due to smoking or perhaps the COVID vaccination (that many people say happens), but it was not.

He is getting more blood work today and is waiting on another CT scan to see how far along it is. His hemotologist seems to think it is at level zero. He is going to be 55 in a couple of weeks and we are just devasted.

Our lives have always been good but over the past few years they have been great! But, now we have the worry of this and how to pay as even though he has a good job, our medical plan (like many others) is terrible, we have debt and all he can think about is me being alone and us losing everything and our home in the future.

You see this happen all the time and once you hear the work 'leukemia' or 'cancer' your life is forever changed.

Thankfully, he has stopped smoking (well, with Chantix) and was down to only 2 cigarettes a day a week ago and now he hasn't smoked for days. And, I just pray that it stays this way.

I am worried about traveling, flying, being in large crowds due to being more susceptible to infection.

I have looked tirelessly (we found out less than 24 hours ago) for support groups for him, me, us whatever in our area and have come up empty handed.

The Dr. had the video results and called before our appointment so he found out alone and didn't ask any questions. So I am just feeling so defeated and need to be stronger and I feel like I am failing already 🙁