Cancer: Being diagnosed during the holiday season

Posted by rhongirl @rhongirl, Dec 21, 2023

This is a just a reach-out to those out there who will be diagnosed or have just been recently diagnosed during this Christmas season. I received my telephone call on Christmas Eve Day, 3 pm. I remember where I was, what I was doing, and what day it was. And I remember wondering how I was going to garner up enough composure to host my family dinner that evening. That was four years ago.

The holiday season, for me, now brings along with it those moments of feeling sad and anxious. These are brief moments, sometimes including flashbacks of things I remember from the cancer treatment period (and multiples surgeries after) woven into my daily. Like losing a loved one during the holiday season, a serious illness can also be attached to those mile-marker holidays for each of us who receives a breast cancer diagnosis near Christmas.

First, it's important to remember there is a never a good time to receive such a diagnosis. There's not an opportune day. It is just is. Second, Christmas is still coming into (or is in the midst of) your life, and you will still move through it. The sun will still rise and set, and friends and family (and you) will still observe, and hopefully, still celebrate the day(s). And third, you will get through it. Even in the tough moments of being newly diagnosed, you will begin to walk your path through breast cancer.

My heart empathizes with each of you who have just now experienced a diagnosis, or will be in the throws of a new diagnosis in these next days. Know that there are others who have been there, and who have survived the traumatic ordeal - those who have come out the other side, and now Christmastime holds only memories of that time. And know that the new memories you will make will one day overshadow those that were more painful for you. Your new holiday experiences can be woven into those that are difficult, somehow making them less frightening anymore. 🙂

There's never a good time for a breast cancer diagnosis - but you will get through it this Christmas. May you find friends and family hold you close, and may the hope of Jesus bathe your spirit and give you strength to find joy in the midst.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

Thank you for your beautiful reflective post, @rhongirl .

Last year, I was supposed to get the result of my biopsy on Dec. 23, but they did not send it that day, and I was greatful for it, because it let me enjoy Christmas. On the 26, I received the email indicating a rectal cancer. I was in tears. I could not sleep for three days, until I could see the surgeon.

This year, there is renewed turmoil, because I have a new biopsy indicating a pre-cancerous polyp in the same place as last year and the perspective of a complex double surgery at the end of January, which keeps me very frightened.

I hope, as you say, that over time, new experiences will soften the pain, the anxiety.

Merry Christmas to you!

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@verol65

Thank you for your beautiful reflective post, @rhongirl .

Last year, I was supposed to get the result of my biopsy on Dec. 23, but they did not send it that day, and I was greatful for it, because it let me enjoy Christmas. On the 26, I received the email indicating a rectal cancer. I was in tears. I could not sleep for three days, until I could see the surgeon.

This year, there is renewed turmoil, because I have a new biopsy indicating a pre-cancerous polyp in the same place as last year and the perspective of a complex double surgery at the end of January, which keeps me very frightened.

I hope, as you say, that over time, new experiences will soften the pain, the anxiety.

Merry Christmas to you!

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Oh @verol65, I am sorry to hear that you find yourself repeating the the scenario with cancer concerns again this year. I, too, had a second cancer diagnosis a year after I had completed my chemo and surgery. The wind came right out of my sails. . . it took time, and I was able to breathe in and out, and start in again. Thankfully, the second diagnosis was not the same kind, and rather on the baby-side of cancer things. A hysterectomy took care of the tired uterus.

Breathe in and out. There is nothing more you can do to change the situation, but just move through it. And you will. :). I often find that when my mind is fixed on other things, the bad thoughts have a way of being "pushed out", because I can't hold all at once. I purposely go hug a few of my grandchildren and almost drink in their sweetness. One moment at a time. One Christmas at a time. hugs to you, and Merry Christmas back!

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@rhongirl

Oh @verol65, I am sorry to hear that you find yourself repeating the the scenario with cancer concerns again this year. I, too, had a second cancer diagnosis a year after I had completed my chemo and surgery. The wind came right out of my sails. . . it took time, and I was able to breathe in and out, and start in again. Thankfully, the second diagnosis was not the same kind, and rather on the baby-side of cancer things. A hysterectomy took care of the tired uterus.

Breathe in and out. There is nothing more you can do to change the situation, but just move through it. And you will. :). I often find that when my mind is fixed on other things, the bad thoughts have a way of being "pushed out", because I can't hold all at once. I purposely go hug a few of my grandchildren and almost drink in their sweetness. One moment at a time. One Christmas at a time. hugs to you, and Merry Christmas back!

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Thank you for your kind words, @rhongirl !

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verol65.
Love and hug day at a time. Doctors aim to cure. I pray you remain hopeful and courageous.

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I got diagnosed two years ago today, dec 23. I was out of the country on a family trip for the holidays and found out by checking in my patient portal. I have PTSD from everything I’ve been through and the holidays are very triggery for me. The memories of that trip are not happy ones at all. I try to focus on the happy times of the season because I have kids but I think that sadness and fear will always be there. I know most cancer patients feel like that year round, but the holidays are definitely a vivid reminder.

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@cancerwifemom

I got diagnosed two years ago today, dec 23. I was out of the country on a family trip for the holidays and found out by checking in my patient portal. I have PTSD from everything I’ve been through and the holidays are very triggery for me. The memories of that trip are not happy ones at all. I try to focus on the happy times of the season because I have kids but I think that sadness and fear will always be there. I know most cancer patients feel like that year round, but the holidays are definitely a vivid reminder.

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Cancerwifemom,
PTSD is a challenge to work through. We are processing the reality of life and death, the assault on our body, the changes in our body, our mind and our emotions. We face the reality that we are not in control of the trials we are given. We aren't in complete control of our bodies except what we put In it, How we Care for it and how we
Nourish it.
We also have our Mind to look after as well as our Emotions and Spirit.
Victory comes in stages. Look where you are now;
You’re 2 years out. That's a celebration!
And there will be more celebrations.
My diagnoses was 10 years ago, stage 3. It was just before Christmas. Treatment was January thru October.
The most important word I can share with you is CHOOSE Joy.
Cancer was not Our choice. But we DO have Our choice in How we are going to face it and work through it.
It may dominate our time, it will cause us to feel physically crappy, provoke depression, make us weak and overshadow us with fear.
BUT…. But that has a season and we can choose how to purpose it.
PTSD is a Process. It can be grueling and cruel. Anxiety is an enemy. What defeats Anxiety? PEACE.
How? GRATITUDE.
I was encouraged by a very dear friend to start a Blessing Book. I bought an 8x11 hardback spiral journal (Picadilly on Amazon) and was encouraged to write end of day, the Blessings I had received that day. At first it was just a paragraph or two. Then they got longer.
It could be a phone call I received, a smile with kind words from a stranger in a store, I might've been feeling good and got a few tasks done but I began to notice, the more blessings I had penned, the less power the PTSD had control over my life.
In time, those haunting reminders became a vapor.
Why? The Blessings overshadowed them.
And in time, for me, I recognized the Cancer itself BECAME a Blessing.
Each day has it blessings. Seek them to Victory.
PTSD will become an old and distant acquaintance because you will have chosen the Blessings.
A heart filled with gratitude leaves little room for lifes enemies.
March on. You've got a life to Live!

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@ebtexas55

Cancerwifemom,
PTSD is a challenge to work through. We are processing the reality of life and death, the assault on our body, the changes in our body, our mind and our emotions. We face the reality that we are not in control of the trials we are given. We aren't in complete control of our bodies except what we put In it, How we Care for it and how we
Nourish it.
We also have our Mind to look after as well as our Emotions and Spirit.
Victory comes in stages. Look where you are now;
You’re 2 years out. That's a celebration!
And there will be more celebrations.
My diagnoses was 10 years ago, stage 3. It was just before Christmas. Treatment was January thru October.
The most important word I can share with you is CHOOSE Joy.
Cancer was not Our choice. But we DO have Our choice in How we are going to face it and work through it.
It may dominate our time, it will cause us to feel physically crappy, provoke depression, make us weak and overshadow us with fear.
BUT…. But that has a season and we can choose how to purpose it.
PTSD is a Process. It can be grueling and cruel. Anxiety is an enemy. What defeats Anxiety? PEACE.
How? GRATITUDE.
I was encouraged by a very dear friend to start a Blessing Book. I bought an 8x11 hardback spiral journal (Picadilly on Amazon) and was encouraged to write end of day, the Blessings I had received that day. At first it was just a paragraph or two. Then they got longer.
It could be a phone call I received, a smile with kind words from a stranger in a store, I might've been feeling good and got a few tasks done but I began to notice, the more blessings I had penned, the less power the PTSD had control over my life.
In time, those haunting reminders became a vapor.
Why? The Blessings overshadowed them.
And in time, for me, I recognized the Cancer itself BECAME a Blessing.
Each day has it blessings. Seek them to Victory.
PTSD will become an old and distant acquaintance because you will have chosen the Blessings.
A heart filled with gratitude leaves little room for lifes enemies.
March on. You've got a life to Live!

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Yesterday I had my weekly session with my psychologist and I was tellling her I had a hard time letting go of the question, why me? Somewhat similar to what you are saying @ebtexas55 , she said, what are the "why me?" of good things in your life, like your four healthy children. So, I started naming good things, privileges that play in my favor in facing this thing that I did not ask for.

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Hi there, Verol65,
O yes, the “Why me” question(s) can become such an enslavement and a thief! It robs us of enjoying the blessings we have had and continue to have.
My Dad was my example..early 40s lymphoma, 50s bladder cancer, 60s kidney cancer and 70s prostate cancer. He lived to be 88. He taught me that Cancer isn't a Death sentence, but a Life sentence.
What held him together was his faith in God. God is what holds me together, too.
Focusing on the Blessings we have in our lives are the Gifts that keep on giving.
Im glad you are redirecting your thoughts and are focusing on your 4 precious children and are choosing to see the other blessings in your life.
These children are gifts and you will discover so many more when you take time and meditate on the Good things.
Considering writing these blessings down. When you get discouraged or aren’t feeling well, or get depressed, open the book up and read the many things you've been grateful for. It will help chase and squash that enemy of discontentment away.
Seize This day.
❤️

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@verol65

Yesterday I had my weekly session with my psychologist and I was tellling her I had a hard time letting go of the question, why me? Somewhat similar to what you are saying @ebtexas55 , she said, what are the "why me?" of good things in your life, like your four healthy children. So, I started naming good things, privileges that play in my favor in facing this thing that I did not ask for.

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This was eye-opening…why me for the wonderful things I have experienced. Thank you🌹

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Looks like I lucked out on the timing of my breast cancer diagnosis. The Fourth of July will always remind me to get my annual mammogram. It was the only indication that I had breast cancer.

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