I don’t know much about your particular cancer. But I do know to do nothing usually doesn’t end well if you have an aggressive cancer.
Chemo gets a bad rap. While the side effects aren’t pleasant, neither is cancer or having it be fatal. Having gone through it and being on the other side I know how important it was to my positive outcome.
I had acute myeloid leukemia which isn’t generally staged. In my case it was an aggressive blood cancer that permeates the entire body. When I was diagnosed I was already at the critical stage and had no time for options. That’s often the case with AML. It can sneak up within weeks of death. I was in the hospital 5 weeks the first time, then admitted every 28 days for another 7 days of chemo until I could get a bone marrow transplant. So your cancer and mine are not similar but the goal is to be free and clear of cancer and go about our lives!
It has to be so frightening being a single mom and worrying about the future for your son. Keep that forward thinking because I firmly believe having a positive outlook and to have little achievement goals can work wonders to keep us motivated. I pushed through some ‘god-awful’ days for the same reason you did…I want my grown daughter to have her mom and my husband to have me around so I can tell him what to do. 😅 I wasn’t finished on this planet yet so that drove me to keep me going on day at a time.

How did I get through the waiting? Well, I’m really good at compartmentalizing things. I didn’t dwell on anything such as ‘what if’… I dealt with things as they were tossed at me. I walked several times daily, kept on painting or reading, I binge watched movies or series on days when I couldn’t do anything constructive. Some days I swear I got through 5 minutes at a time. You’ll do the same! You have a great attitude and a spirit of endurance. You’re a mom…you have super powers. 🙃