I can totally empathize with you. You have extreme anxiety, does your doctor give you anything for that? Fearful in the daytime and extreme anxiety at night is not a good way to live. I have experienced the same thing many times. For exa,ple, my heart is in permanent A-fib. My first pacemaker was a defibrillator /pacemaker as I was diagnosed with sudden death syndrome. I just found out that the second pacemaker I got 2.5 years ago does not have a defibrillator, so iI have a cardiac arrest that will be it. Of course I have anxiety also, at one point i was leaving food and water all over the house each night fearful that I would die in my sleep and my animals would starve to death before anyone found me. As with you this is hard to live with, but you learn to live with it, or you have no lifecat all.