in reply to @kartwk I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. As many know, I take care of my friend Joyce, who has now lost all touch with reality. A couple of nights ago I asked her during one of her states of confusion if she knew what planet she was on, and she replied in the negative. I pressed her further, asking if she had seen any UFO's because she is always watching Ancient Aliens on the History Channel with no sound. The same night, I prepared a wonderful dinner, and when it became time to leave, my keys were nowhere to be found, so I had to call the after hours maintenance guy to let me inside my apartment, which he did in his pajamas. Yesterday I found my keys in her dishwasher, and I know for certain I did not put them there.
After seeing my doctor today, and noticing that my blood pressure which has always been 110/70 was 148/80, this was telling me in terms of the need to step back. Every time I go over there now, I can feel my heart racing simply because of the anxiety and anger I feel about all of her friends who have indeed abandoned her. I am now unwilling to sacrifice my own health issues, which are many, in order to provide care for someone, love aside, who needs more help than I can provide going forward. I actually have her a "script" to read to her friend who usually brings me Trader Joe gift cards to buy food, but this month she has failed to respond to my attempts to reach out to her. The "script" reads: "Fran said she is no longer coming over, and the only food I have in the apartment is tuna and microwave potatoes." We shall see. Of course, I bought much better food for her,as I have to eat on occasion as well. However, the lack of response by those who claim to care about her, has now reached an all time low, and I have finally realized that I cannot control other people, only myself. Leaving her will be difficult, but if I want to continue to live as much as a fulfilling life as I can, I can no longer make the personal sacrifices I have been making for the past year. Good luck. Caregiving is a very self full filling to do until one reaches the point of no return, just where my poor friend Joyce is right now, listening now to Spanish language channels which she doesn't understand by any stretch of imagination.