@hilbish Yes, everything you say is right. Maybe I would magically rise to the kinds of occasion you mention. I always thought that I can do a lot of things that I was trained for: my professional work as a scholar doing research, house work, cooking, playing the musical instrument I studied, etc. How does one suddenly learn nursing at old age? But there is a difficult family history in my life. My younger sibling was diagnosed mentally ill. But he earned several high-level academic degrees. His illness manifested as being unable to anything practical, and his disease caused him to spend all his money. Bottom line--he always had to be cared for and supported. The entire family fortune and effort was used "caregiving." Somehow I got tired of that, and eventually just didn't agree. That made me the black sheep.