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IMNSHO: The Top Ten Things NOT to say to a Caregiver

Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 29, 2023 | Replies (46)

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@jshdma

This is a comment on the topic "caregiving." The stories are a description of sacrifice/devotion but also of horror. While I am not a caregiver, it is easy to imagine some of the terrible situations that people write about. Having been a close observer of some care-giving situations, I have often asked myself: "why not just walk away (for a few hours)?" Probably nothing will happen. There are some people born to be martyrs-- after all, certain early Christians went into the Roman arenas and were killed (eaten?) by lions. But this is not most people.
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Replies to "This is a comment on the topic "caregiving." The stories are a description of sacrifice/devotion but..."

I am NOT the caregiver type at all!! My Mom had a girl that came in and helped as her Alzheimer's progressed. She heard me on the phone before leaving and she said, I could never do that! You are so impressive, one hell of a businesswoman. I said, no, I am in total awe of what you can do. I had tears in my eyes thinking I can't take care of my Mom. Am I a monster? But as things got worse, I had parents moved to fla. where I was so I could help out. Even in assisted living, it's a big job. Dad had emphysema so it was a lot! In Dad's last stages, he was so fragile, the girl that we brought in to shower Dad was too rough when she washed his hair. he asked if I could help. We did not have that type of relationship. I had never seen my father in his underwear, and he was white collar, country club. I was the black sheep. Those precious moments while showering Dad, we had more laughs, tears and honesty than we had ever had. Sometime beautiful things can happen. I gag when I see a kids diaper getting changed, can't wrap gifts, so I'm not the Mommy type. When you are needed, you become capable of things you never knew possible before......God Bless Everyone