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What are your tips for staying independent at your own home?

Aging Well | Last Active: Nov 1 12:41pm | Replies (187)

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@sueinmn

Marilyn - We have tentatively made the same decision, to stay in our home and adapt, although none of us knows what the future holds. We also have an option of an auxiliary dwelling unit at either of our daughter's homes - their lots are large and our local codes allow this. We feel it may be an option down the road when one of us is alone...

The size aspect is not an issue for us - we live 1/2 the year in 400sf plus an 8X10 shed and another 2 months or so in a 7x17 foot camper. We have been rigorously "downsizing" our possessions in our "big" home - 1200sf with the store room. My goal be the end of 2024 is to remove some of the storage shelves and cabinets we have added over the years - I already have empty shelves in several places.

We are now in our winter home, with neighbors from their 40's to near 90, all away from family in our own smaller dwellings (from travel trailers to mobile homes. We all watch over one another, stepping up as needed when crises arise.

The very fun thing is the community gathering spaces - no pressure, come when you like. Three mornings a week we do senior-adapted yoga - great way to start the day. We also have 2-3 communal meals each week - again, no pressure. Also lots of games, outings, etc - I am working on my watercolor skills with our fabulous resident artist and a group of friends.

So I live in 2 worlds - I love the Texas weather, but miss my family and friends when away from my "roots" in Minnesota. We will do this as long as life allows - our girls have even made plans to drive us down and back when the time comes (we did the same for my Mom in her later years)

The other "plan" is our safety plan - no more climbing on chairs or beds - only stable step stools with a proper hand hold. A spotter every time one of uses a step ladder - anything that requires more climbing is done by someone else. Sturdy safety rails on all steps and in both bathrooms. Keeping clutter away from all walking areas, off all stairs, no slippery rugs, smooth hardwood or tile floors. And ongoing strength and balance training exercises.

Sue

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Replies to "Marilyn - We have tentatively made the same decision, to stay in our home and adapt,..."

This is really helpful, and I like the realism of it, without any sense of "giving in"...what you've described exudes a genuine feeling of caring for oneself, knowing the realities, yet enjoying life.

I'm wondering if you could elaborate on how the "communal" arrangement came about - was it intentional, did it just evolve over several visits, or was there a plan?

I can share more after learning a bit more about your lovely lifestyle - Thanks!

I also have many of the safety things you mentioned, such as safety bars in both bathrooms, plus in my en suite bathroom, in the separate toilet room. No throw rugs, etc. My house is medium, 1560 sq. ft. My husband and I bought it together. Now he is gone, but I am not. I have a very nice handy man who will come when he is not busy, and slowly we are getting the garage cleaned out. I plan on living here forever. As I said earlier, I am already 89 but in relatively good health. So who knows? Shall I visit the lady with the crystal ball? Another one of my safety measures is checking in each day with two people via computer. This is important when you are living alone. Last year a woman who lived down the street was dead for several days before anyone thought that they hadn't seen or heard from her for a while and called the police for a health check. This really gave me a jolt because it had not occurred to me before. So I remedied that. There is only so much that one can do.

We live as you, wintering in our native Texas and summering in western Washington. We are working on downsizing our possessions in both homes and eventually we will need to sell one since my husband is 80 with dementia and I’m 76. We will enjoy and as long as we can. I am leaning toward settling in Texas to be near family where as my husband wants to stay in Washington due to the beautiful scenery.