If it’s at all helpful, I can tell you my husband loves my new breasts even though they’re smaller. After about 6 months I went looking for lacey pretty bras - something I felt I never could wear because I needed the support. I need to go shopping again - I didn’t buy sexy enough!! I can tell my husband appreciates that I feel more feminine with a lacey nothing bra than I did with my old bras.
I had tried to include him in this whole process because I guessed that he too would be dealing with the fear, the change, the uncertainty of what came next. We walked around Macy’s bra section a couple weeks before surgery. I showed him what a A cup, B cup, C cup looked like. I’m sure anyone nearby thought it was an odd conversation 🙂
I was trying to prepare him, us, for what was to come. He said what was really helpful to see photos of post-surgery breasts with all the stitching, swelling, etc and then see the “after” photos. I think it made him a bit more comfortable that the outcomes weren’t so gruesome. A lot of those photos are available on plastic surgeon websites for breast reduction (not cancer).
I had also decided that I might get a beautiful tattoo on my breast(s) after surgery. I don’t have any other tattoos - but they can be really beautiful. I haven’t done it - my breasts look pretty good as is, but it sounded like my husband thought it would be really sexy.
As someone mentioned before there is a grieving process. Allow yourself time to work through that.
You sound like a strong woman. You’ve already been through so much and yet you’re here posting that you have hope!
We all can do this journey together!