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My plastic surgeon at my last visit
Breast Cancer | Last Active: Nov 27, 2023 | Replies (30)Comment receiving replies
Thank you so much for your kind and helpful reply. ❤️
Yeah, I didn’t feel there were any choices offered, it was just, here is what we are going to do and here are the risks (they did a great job of explaining all that,)
No implants because they were partial mastectomies and reductions/lifts.
I think I will be fine with these once they heal (I just hate how they look now because I’m only one month out and the scars are gruesome and the swelling makes them look weird) but I think I needed to have a moment to mourn my old self.
I know I am so much luckier than so many, so I should count my blessings.
It’s just…I guess it felt bad to have a doctor TELLING me how I felt (and being wrong about how I felt) rather than asking me.
I’m sure doctors are far too busy to ask patients how they feel about all this.
I just wish they understood, this is not a happy thing, not a celebration.
It feels like toxic positivity and fake and I hate it. I hate that I feel coerced to be all happy and gleeful like it’s the best Christmas present ever that I have cancer.
I know it’s always best to keep a positive mental attitude but there are other emotions that come with this and I wish those other emotions were allowed and not forbidden.
Replies to "Thank you so much for your kind and helpful reply. ❤️ Yeah, I didn’t feel there..."
This comment below is so true and the word used was allowed! We absolutely need to be allowed to grieve. Being allowed to grieve is healthy and actually makes grief all the more brief. Sometimes you might even have a loved one ignore your pain, as if you and or the problem don't exist. We must all remember that grief is a process and it does get better, but everyone needs support through the grieving process and given validation that it's normal, it's purposeful and lets work together to move through it, no matter how long it takes. Some parts of life require grief, it's that simple, and when someone is made to feel guilty about it, it can actually drive someone into depression and anxiety. So if someone is handing you toxic positivity run away from them and find someone supportive and gives good hugs and great ears for listening and reassures you.
And that's my "dime store" opinion and rant for today, my apologies.
I know it’s always best to keep a positive mental attitude but there are other emotions that come with this and I wish those other emotions were allowed and not forbidden.
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Totally agree about the emotions.
Thought you might enjoy reading this lady :
https://liz.oriordan.co.uk/