My plastic surgeon at my last visit

I'm so sorry. Frankly, given my experience with how rushed surgeons are these days, she may very well have gotten you confused w/ someone else. I've learned that the only time they really listen to the patient is when they meet you right before the surgery, which is frustrating because you also have 7 different people doing things to and around you in the pre-op room & aren't exactly in a position to ensure proper marking & understanding when you can't stand up naked to show them and there's no mirror in the room.

I've NEVER seen doctors as rushed and dismissive as recently. As long as this is still post-breast cancer surgery, any revisions you might want are probably covered--so let the swelling go down, and maybe you can exchange the implants for something larger later. Did you do pre-pec implants or post-pec? Did you go straight from mastectomy to implants or do tissue expanders? The latter is usually carefully tailored to the size you want, so i'm wondering if it was the former. If so, I'd check your chart notes--not just ones given you but the records (you can easily get them online now) to see if there was a mistake somewhere. Again, as long as this is still covered under insurance, you could give it a few months to see the final result & then decide--I assume you're getting new nipples tattooed also, so you're probably going to be visiting them for some follow-ups. Best of luck.

First thing to say is, I don't have breast cancer (I have pancreatic), so I can't know how you're feeling. (I'm a woman, so I do know how central our breasts are to our self-image.)

I want to share, though, something that someone shared on the pancreatic-cancer board. She's had a fairly quick recurrence (this particular cancer is notorious for that, unfortunately), and her current chemo is hitting her v. hard. But she said that she views the chemo as the thing that cleans up the cancer so that she can have a future, and that helps her get through the bad weeks ( = every other week).

I beg you to never say "never" ("but this chest will never be anything I could ever feel happy about") bc I hope that in time you'll see your new chest as something that enabled you to live longer and accrue the various blessings that your years-to-come will bestow. (Please know that I'm not downplaying how traumatic it is to lose one's breasts and to deal with reconstruction.)

And, I urge you to think about the idea that our thoughts become our words become our deeds become our life. I *know* that it's not easy to adjust one's attitude during the trials of cancer treatment, and I think that we *shouldn't* adjust it when in fact at some points we need to grieve, be angry, etc. But overall I find that dictum useful (if perhaps a little simplistic).

I'm moved by your situation; I wish you well; and if I've erred by posting, I apologize.

I think I will like these new breasts once they heal up. They are just looking rather gruesome still, and I can’t help but go through some mourning for my old breasts.

These new ones don’t feel like “me” yet. And the scars have a long ways to go to heal.

I was in a low mood when I wrote that post. I’m sure I will adjust and be happy with my new breasts.

It just struck me as the entirely wrong tone to take for someone who was operated on for cancer, as opposed to a patient coming in because she wishes to have a breast reduction for cosmetic reasons.

My surgery was a “have to” and not a “want to” and with the former, it’s not fair to expect me to be all happy about the surgery. I am grateful, but it never would have been a surgery I wanted to have.

They didn’t really offer me any options for this surgery, I was just told, we are going to take this out of each breast, move tissue around, lift things back up, etc.

So I don’t think an implant was actually an option, I’m guessing that is only an option for the full mastectomies rather than the partial mastectomies?

I’ll get used to these, and it’s a lot better than having full mastectomies at least.

I’m sure in time these new breasts will feel like “me” again.

First thing to say is, I don't have breast cancer (I have pancreatic), so I can't know how you're feeling. (I'm a woman, so I do know how central our breasts are to our self-image.)

I want to share, though, something that someone shared on the pancreatic-cancer board. She's had a fairly quick recurrence (this particular cancer is notorious for that, unfortunately), and her current chemo is hitting her v. hard. But she said that she views the chemo as the thing that cleans up the cancer so that she can have a future, and that helps her get through the bad weeks ( = every other week).

I beg you to never say "never" ("but this chest will never be anything I could ever feel happy about") bc I hope that in time you'll see your new chest as something that enabled you to live longer and accrue the various blessings that your years-to-come will bestow. (Please know that I'm not downplaying how traumatic it is to lose one's breasts and to deal with reconstruction.)

And, I urge you to think about the idea that our thoughts become our words become our deeds become our life. I *know* that it's not easy to adjust one's attitude during the trials of cancer treatment, and I think that we *shouldn't* adjust it when in fact at some points we need to grieve, be angry, etc. But overall I find that dictum useful (if perhaps a little simplistic).

I'm moved by your situation; I wish you well; and if I've erred by posting, I apologize.

Was getting prepped for surgery, nurse was going over all details and stated I was having a double mastectomy with one implant done after!!!! What? A little lopsided I believe!

So beautifully put. I live by the mantra "it is what it is" and try to "make the best of it". I have quite alot of health problems and not to say I don't have "down" days but I try to look at the bright side of each situation. For example I had my nipples removed during my double mastectomy and am happy I don't have to worry about being cold-lol. Wishing you the best.

My opinion here, I can't help but wonder if you're still not in the shock of everything. Having said that, it sounds like there wasn't a lot of discussion about what you would like. There was a lot of discussion about size, type and straight talk about what it would look like after. I had a bilateral mastectomy with nipple removal and expanders placed. The expanders were placed at the time of the mastectomy under the pectoral muscle since there was nothing left in the breast pocket to hold them. I chose to initially not have nipple reconstruction, my life changed in a dramatic way (divorced) a few years after the surgery and then went back in to have them created on my birthday, happy birthday to me! 😀 I am not sure how the next man in my life, if there is one, will respond to how my breasts look. But, there is more to me than boobs. There is more to you than boobs. Is is hard initially to see what's been done? YES, you're grieving what was, you're grieving the life you had before cancer. There is an adjustment period, its called getting used to our new normal. And it's OK to be angry about the whole thing, just don't unpack and live there. I actually went to a counselor provided by my cancer center to talk about how I felt and would recommend you find someone to talk to as well.

Perhaps, finding a different plastic surgeon might be good and see if there is the option to have larger implants placed if that is a desire of yours. Since you will be seeing your plastics for some time over the next few years, it might be a good idea to find someone you don't have resentment towards. It might be worth it so you're not wondering what if.

It is difficult to see the changes - changes we would not have asked for. Don’t feel bad that you have these feelings. It’s okay to mourn the change and it doesn’t mean you’re not grateful that the surgery was done as needed. I too had DD size chest before reduction. I’m now a C/C+. I am very happy being smaller - I found the DD very difficult, with getting clothes to fit, being stared at, discomfort with any activity that involved heavy bouncing. But, still, an instant change to how we look is a bit shocking and it takes time to adjust. After surgery I avoided looking at the black stitches against what used to be smooth soft skin. One of my nipple aureola’s didn’t seem to be stitched round. But the black faded away and the areola now seems very normal because my areolas were never a perfectly drawn circle.
I hope you will find new clothes styles that will make your new breasts feel just as beautiful as the old ones. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal.