Connect
← Return to Any support for those who have been denied being living donor?
Discussion
Any support for those who have been denied being living donor?
Transplants | Last Active: Dec 15, 2023 | Replies (26)Comment receiving replies
@brokendoll I’m sorry I’m a bit confused. Who has the “possible blood cancer” the potential recipient or you the potential donor. Just looking for clarification. I have chronic kidney disease (CKD stage 4) and have been told I will need dialysis & / or a kidney transplant in the future. I have been looking for a living kidney donor for a long time. Years ago my daughter stepped up to be a donor. She got far into the evaluation process and was also denied. It was something with her not me and she was livid! She had 3 little kids, not much support in her marriage or home ….. She claims they told her at the psych eval part that she was “too unstable to be a donor”. I have since learned that if the potential donor changes their mind they may be “denied” to let them off the hook so to speak with no further explanation needed. If the problem is compatibility between the potential recipient and potential donor the transplant center usually offers participation in a paired donation or exchange type of program. Has anything like this been presented to you? You could ask your coordinator about this if you are still interested in being a donor.
Replies to "@brokendoll I’m sorry I’m a bit confused. Who has the “possible blood cancer” the potential recipient..."
Connect
My blood tests indicated I could have multiple myeloma so I was denied. I had applied 7 years ago to be an anonymous donor and they passed me at that time because of instability (I had had suicidal thoughts in the past) which I guess is fair. But, yeah, I can't begin to imagine being denied when you're trying to help your parent. It was hard enough after a few phone conversations with a relative stranger. Being face to face with that humanity is rough. Knowing how much someone is suffering and how long the wait for relief can be. Gosh, the waiting has got to be brutal 🙁
I am in a much more supportive space right now than 7 years ago so I decided to try again. I did ask my coordinator if I was tested negative for myeloma could I still donate but the team denied me since it's possible I could have MGUS. I thought about asking if we were compatible but it's a moot point. According to my team, I'm not compatible with anyone. At least not now.
On the bright side, I did speak to the recipient today and he's handling this a whole lot better than I am despite him being in the hospital, possibly over Thanksgiving. He told me he could have another potential donor; they are waiting on his compatibility test right now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
And sending all strength and healing to you.