@fluffy56 Hello from PA. I was tagged by Colleen to reply to your post, and I would be honored to help you get your life back. It won't be the same as before, but it can be one of good quality without consuming your lives with fear and constant preoccupation of this diagnosis. Can you please tell me when and where your husband received his diagnosis?
Peace, Nancy
(My favorite explanation of Peace is. " it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart".
Unknown)

In reply to fluffy56:

What type of scientist is your husband? Does he know about pubmed.gov?

I would start looking for a cancer center where there are people who have expertise in the illness you describe.

What do doctors who treat your husband's condition say about treating immediately or watching and waiting? What is the basis for their recommendations?

Regarding the emotional component of all this, I suggest that a cool, calm, rational, and active approach would yield the best results. Emotional regulation can be difficult, but it is possible.

It could be worse. It could be a lot worse. Contrast being told that the approach will be watch and wait versus being told after a lab test that you have an emergency appointment with an oncologist for the next morning, and then hearing that without immediate chemotherapy you would be dead in three weeks. From that point of view, watching and waiting doesn't seem so bad.

Does your husband have any friends who could help him with some investigation of what the options are? You know what they say about lawyers. A lawyer who represents himself in court has a fool for a lawyer.

I still recommend that your husband be active in finding out as much as he can about treatment options, but I also recommend talking to people who have expertise in the field and who have already thought about the questions he has raised.