As much as possible, please find someone to help you. I was in a similar situation several months ago. Exhausted, no more patience, etc…

I found someone to help us through a local listserve. After talking to former employers and doing a background check, I hired this person to take care of my husband who has Lewy Bodies Dementia. It has been such a relief. I would recommend that you write a contract with what you expect the helper will do and the days he/she will work. Sick leave, vacations, etc… It protects you but also it protects the person you are hiring. I found a sample contract on Care.com or HomePay. Both sites have very valuable information, with the legal info by state. I am also using HomePay for the payroll.

I hope you will find someone soon. This road is so hard alone. Please take care of yourself.
Francoise