I'm 33 years clean and never thought I'd get even a day. It gets so much better trust and believe that, Never lose hope and a month is a massive huge accomplishment ,so give yourself a lot of credit but also recognize that you have used for a whole lot more months than you have been clean time takes time and beyond physical addiction there is the lifestyle and thinking and friendships and everything about our lives that has been so wrapped up in using so it is perfectly normal to think about it, it is going to take time for new behaviors to be comfortable and a new way of life takes time and practice to create especially as those of us who started young didn't get a chance to learn who we are and what we are really about, the thing is you don't have to USE today or ever again, just breathe through it, pick up the phone& call a clean friend go to a meeting or watch speakers on you tube ,I like a channel called Odomtology they have a range of recovery speakers I suggest listening to Danny Trejo ! I got clean in rehab and NA & AA were/are foundational to my recovery (I suggest you get a NA Basic Text and read it) but I have added many other things along the way like Dialectical Behavior Therapy and EMDR for ptsd and much more, I'm NOT religious but learned young that I can take what works for me from anything and now there are so many more approaches to recovery and groups out there that there is truly a "bolt for every type of nut" .You can do this despite what the committee from hell that sounds like is going nonstop in your head says, and remember you are never alone! Congrats on every minute you get clean and much love & light going forward, Be kind to yourself