I’ve spent most of my life struggling with one form of addiction or another, alcohol, cocaine and prescription drugs

I’ve been clean and sober for ten years and no longer have the urge to use.

Everyone’s biology is different and what has worked for me may not help you, but here it is.

First I had to accept that something was broken before I started using.

I used drugs and alcohol to mask my pain and avoid my feelings.

My biology was changed by my substance abuse.

I needed help badly mental and physical.

If I did not change I would continue to hurt people. People used to warn me that I would die if I didn’t stop. They didn’t understand that I welcomed death, Not hurting the people I love became my motivation.

I had to start taking care of myself. I stopped eating crap and started exercising, both very hard at first. However, it’s tough to get high and eat right and exercise. Anytime I spent taking care of myself was time I didn’t feed the beast.

I had to accept that getting clean and for me, addressing my trauma was to be the fight of my life. I had to adopt a Warrior mindset.

I had to believe it would get better and that the pain would not last forever.

And perhaps most importantly I had lost everything a human can lose, except my life and I was going to take that away on my own.

I was given the gift of desperation.

Today the fight to be a better man is the purpose of my life. It is my reason for being.

There is nothing I can do for my ex-wife, my children and increasingly humanity as a whole if I don’t take of my soul first.

You have taken an incredible step reaching out, keep going. Don’t stop ever! If you fall down get back up and keep fighting.

Don’t beat yourself up. You are sick no different than if you had cancer.

If you can’t fight for yourself, what will you fight for. It doesn’t matter what it is right now.

Just fight!

I wish you the peace you deserve. Never forget you are loved.