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Alzheimers and lost time

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 6 hours ago | Replies (22)

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terrilynne,
We have a lot in common. I think it is difficult for people to understand just how tiring this can be having someone constantly touching, hugging and telling me he loves me. We were at my husband's neurologist office yesterday and I told him about how touchy feely my husband is, and the neurologist said that he believes that it gives him comfort in a world that has changed so much for him. Sometimes I stop and think about how lucky I am that he is not being mean to me. Some caregivers on this sight are dealing with situations that are so bad that I almost feel guilty even talking about this.

What I am beginning to realize is that the husband I have had for over 50 years is leaving me little by little and I can't expect him to be the person he was before his brain damage (Alzheimer's). I am trying very hard to take this one day at a time and not think about what is going to happen next.

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this for such a long time. I can't imagine.
Katrina

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Replies to "terrilynne, We have a lot in common. I think it is difficult for people to understand..."

Hi Katrina... yes, it does appear that our husbands are exhibiting similar behaviors. My hubby also asks about having sex constantly. It becomes so wearing. This am was difficult. He gets upset. Fortunately, there is not outward anger... just moody, brooding and complaining. I feel like I am drowning a good bit of the time now. It is simply exhausting. You can relate. Nice to have someone else to let me know that I am not the only one. Off to try to get a shower while he is sitting down and looking outside. We'll see if I get any privacy...

@katrina123

I wrote this to terrilynne over 2 years ago and oh how things have changed. I said how lucky I was that my husband had not been mean. Well, his Alzheimer's has progressed, and he has gotten a lot worse. Often, he thinks I am someone else and he gets very angry. He has told me to get out of the house, or he will call the police. He has refused a couple of times to allow me to sleep with him because he thought I was someone else, so I slept on the recliner in our family room. He has yelled at me if we need to use the car because he said the car does not belong to me. He insists that we are in the wrong house and that we should leave. Probably because there are times that our house does not look familiar to him. The examples are just a fraction of the anger that he is expressing. The odd thing is when he is lucid, he is loving and kind and tells me how lucky he is to have me. This is so very difficult. I know he is getting much worse and the idea of having to place him in a memory care center just mortifies me. The idea that I wouldn't have him with me after 58 years of being married and the worry of the horrible expense of memory care is difficult to deal with. No big pensions and no long-term care insurance......damn.