@mommacandy I commend you for taking care of a friend - you have gone far beyond what anyone one person can reasonably expect of another, but this person dropping into your life a few years ago does not make him your responsibility forever.

Let me ask you a question - When you were raising your children, was your life ruled by their tantrums?

That is what you are allowing this unrelated man do to you and your husband. He has taken over your lives with your permission, but now you want it back. You have been a blessing to him, seeing him through crisis after crisis, but is time to resume your lives, and hand him back responsibility for his.

You need to steel yourselves, know he is going to rage at you, and do what needs to be done. If that means returning him to his cabin, just matter-of-factly tell him "X days after your next chemo, we are taking you home. We will pick you up on [day] for your next chemo session. We will make sure you have supplies for yourself and your cats."

When he rages, repeat, repeat, repeat. If you cannot do this, stand at your husband's side while he says it. Then do it. Otherwise, you are putting your liberty and your future in the hands of someone who is behaving like a tyrant. PTSD or not, he has to accept that your resources are not without limit.

Please let me know how this turns out for you.
Sue