Loss and grief resulting from death of a pet

Greetings. I just happened on your post. This is lindasmith22 from the Dec 2021 post I typed. Here I am, 2 years, 3 months since I lost my precious Belah in a house fire. We got a puppy from the same breeder we got Belah from. Her name is Emma. Emma is a challenging puppy, but she makes us laugh again. We are no longer homeless. Two months ago, we were able to start over in a different state as we moved to be near family. So now we have family and between the ocean, family, Emma and finally having a place we can call home, and I made a good friend--we are healing and the PTSD symptoms are better--not gone--but better. I still tear up when I think of Belah. I was just thinking about her a couple of hours ago. How our neighbors cried when they found out she had died in the fire. Everyone who met her loved her. I am very grateful I had her for 5 short years. She is surely is in doggie heaven. I hope I see her again one day.

I agree. It's not talked about much.
The death of my dogs, especially my golden retriever, Sammy has been devastating for me. I miss him terribly. Terribly. He was my soul mate,.my sweet sweet boy. My heart aches for him 💔. It has made me depressed and just lonely without him. I feel your pain. You are not alone. Hugs to you. Its been 4 sad years since he Crosse rainbow Bridge.
I do not compare the death of Sammy with my family members who have passed away. I hurt in many different ways. I definitely don't want to compare it with member's loss of a loved one, but it hurts deeply. I wanted you to know I feel your specific pain...it never leaves my soul. Hugs Hugs Hugs.
🐾🐾🐕❤️🥰

I have had a lot of loss in my life, and I don't differentiate in the pain of the loss, whether it be human or animal. Some will be offended by that, but it is my truth. One of my most painful losses was my Rupert, my basset hound of over 15 years. I had him from a baby and he was the boy I never had. How I loved that dog, and how he loved me! Everyone loved Rupert! I was in a group of people, lightheartedly talking about how pets and their pet owners are alike. I had said, jokingly, "wait a minute, please don't tell me I am like Rupert, slobbering all the time" and one person said, "no, you don't slobber, but you and Rupert are one and the same, walking down the street, wagging your tails and hands at everyone you meet, making friends everywhere you go"! I took that as a real compliment, and still do, and you know what? He was right! What I would like to say, to people like me , who may trend to making the same mistake as me, when you lose your beloved pet, get another as soon as you can. I am 77yo and this is one of my biggest regrets. I was so devasted at the loss of Rupert that I thought I could not get another pet to try to replace him. Big mistake. Now I am all alone, with health problems that prevent me from being able to have another dog, and I wish I had gotten another dog to grow old with me. It is extremely difficult to lose that pet that you love so dearly, but honor that pet, and the relationship you had with him/her, by opening your heart and home to another. Truly.
P

I can totally relate. We unexpectedly woke to my 6 year old cat dead and I am completely gutted.

I will look for the Mr Rogers book you mentioned.

I lost my beloved cat several years ago…He was expected to leave us from congenital heart trouble. It was a nightmare. He was quickly but slowly leaving us but suffering. In the end, he was in my arms. Peacefully leaving us. The vet facilitated it. A neighbor said it was the merciful thing to do. When I heard that I let out a bellowing cry. It took us, and myself YEARS to come to terms with his loss. Our pets give unconditional love. And unless someone knows what that is, you would be missing the boat and unable to understand it. We had him for 9 years. I still cry over his loss. It was so bad, i was in the hospital for 3 days for my heart beginning the late day after he went to heaven. The grief was critical. The reality is death is death. Loss is loss. Grief is grief. It takes time and a lot of it to cope. I never got over his death. Never will. Bless all the people who open up their lives and homes caring for pets making them family. They truly enrich our lives.

So sorry you have gone through so much. I’ve lost my parents, in-laws, 2 brothers & 2 wonderful pets. However, I remember my mom saying you grieve one way for your parents, it’s harder with a spouse - my dad passed when I was 26, my youngest brother passed a few years later. My mom said nothing prepared her for the loss of a child. My brother was 29. I’ve not suffered all you have, but I remember trying to be there for my precious mom. My oldest brother passed 4 years ago. I’ve read grief is the the price we pay for love. I lost my sweet Lucy, a yorkipoo that my husband got me the year my mom died. She was 16 when she passed last year, but she always sensed when we were hurting & would nurture us. Grief is tough. It is important to grieve in healthy ways, but that can be tough when you’re drowning in grief. It is important to have a good support system & friends who are there for you. There is no shame in seeking help. Hugs & prayers to you all.

I've lost my dog on 6th of May, he was only 3 years old. I loved him more than anyone or anything to be honest. He was so beautiful, so friendly, full of energy and love. He wanted to be friends with everyone. I took him with me everywhere I went, if it was pet friendly place. As I work from home, we almost always been together. It's unbearable pain and what makes it even worse is that my dog died because of my best friend/ex-boyfriend didn't care of him enough during walking outside. I got ancle injury and pneumonia and I couldn't walk with my dog, so my ex-boyfriend took him out. But he was holding the smartphone in the same hand that he was holding the leash. And at some moment my dog pulled the leash, it fell, and he run away to the driveway. Car killed my baby boy immediately.
That day was the worse in my life so far, when I was limping and coughing trying to get to them as fast as possible and seeing that my little baby is not breathing, that his eyes and mouth are opened and that his blood on my ex-bf's arms.
I just can't believe and I can't understand why it happened to me. And how was it possible that someone I loved so much could be a reason of the death of my beloved dog. At that moment I swear I'd prefer my ex would rather die, or me, or anyone, but only not my little baby boy Charlie. His death changed me forever. It taught me some things I didn't understand before. This wound will be always bleeding, maybe less with time, but it won't stop. Charlie was the best thing I ever had in my life, he was my joy, my happiness, my heart. I'm half alive and like a ghost walking on the same streets where he walked with me. I'm cursing the world, that everything looks the same, but Charlie does not exist anywhere in this universe anymore. And I'll have to live with this pain till I die. But I hope that I'll see him someday, him and my previously passed away dog Otto. I love them so much. I wish all people that read it to find peace and to feel better ❤️

I know how you feel. In my adult life, I've lost several dogs, all at early ages, all due to strange health conditions. I miss them terribly. The most recent one died more than six years ago, and I still find myself thinking of her, expecting to see her, missing her happy face and love for life.

I have some videos of her. Here's my favorite:

You'll see Charlie again. In the meantime, know that he would want you to be happy. (Didn't he always comfort you when you were sad?) Try to do that for him.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Pepe. I love Mr Roger's Pet Loss Book. As a pet loss and bereavement specialist and a griever, I understand that losing a beloved pet is not something one gets over; rather, one grows around grief. When one learns to live with their beloved pet's memory, one has access to a wealth of treasured memories. Living with their memory is also an act of self-compassion.

I have aways thought that one of the hardest things to do in life is to put a beloved pet to sleep.

To deliberately end the life of a being that has done nothing but give pour out its love upon me is world-shattering.

But it's our responsibility. There's no getting around it. And they know their time is running out. I have seen that look in their eyes -- "Please, please, if you love me, do something."

I have held them in my arms as the vet gave "the shot"; felt them relax and let go as their last breath escapes them, knowing that I'll never again hear them, see them, touch them, or feel their touch. Not in this life, anyway.

I know it was the kindest, most loving thing I could do for them. But God, it hurts to recall it, saying goodbye to the most loving, loyal, selfless friends I have ever had.