@labgirl hi I am 73 and your story could easily be mine just change some of the details. I have learned slowly and painfully to give up what I can’t do. This is not easy. Here is the way I look at it. My illness is chronic and progressive. My pain is only going to get worse. If I am to have any quality of life, I have to let go of the past. I know this is hard it’s still hard for me. I’ve just learned that I might also lose my sight. This is a rough one. I have always liked to study and learn. When I was younger, I did not have the time or opportunity to do so in a formal way. Now that I am disabled, I can study anything I want, how I want, when I want and enjoy myself without the pressure you usually get in university. Prime video which is free if you subscribe to their delivery service which I do because I can’t get out to buy anything. They recently added an app called great courses of the world. I subscribe to this and find it wonderful it’s geared to those with some higher education add it‘s kind of like 101 courses but also like a survey courses. I am really enjoying learning things every day. I am now studying, quantum mechanics, inorganic chemistry, and how to write in ancient Egyptian just for fun. They have all kinds of courses history, geology just about anything you can think of. I find it really helps to keep my mind busy and active. When I find my mind turning to what I can’t do, which is just about everything. Instead of going down that rabbit hole , which is seemingly endless. What I do is remember I am now free to study or paint or draw or just listen to audiobooks or read or if I’m desperate watch TV. I felt guilty about this at first because I’ve always been so busy. But it sounds like you’ve earned a time to rest and do what you like. So. I imagine I have a new road now and I can drive anywhere I want in my mind.I know this is not the same as what were used to. It does take some time to make all these adjustments. But you can also be happy doing other things, it just might take some time to figure out what is right for you. I hope this helps a little bit. I know the struggle intimately and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I’m here to say that it can be done. You can find happiness again.