I am 77yo with one daughter and two twin granddaughters. I totally emphathize with you and I am hearing more and more people who are in the same situation. I question why I am even here. I have no purpose and I don't appear to mean anything to the three people who I made my world. I have many diagnosed problems in addition to a "Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder", which is actually fed my other neurological conditions. I feel like I am in my own personal Hell. I appreciate all of you who have strong relationships with God, but there are actually some of us who do not. I wish I did, but I do not. From the time I was molested as a little, through emotional traumas my entire life, I have felt abdoned by Him, hard as I have sought Him out. So, until you walk a mile in my shoes, please don't judge me. I feel not only abandoned, but punished. I have no idea why I am still forced to live in this Hell, and please don't tell me that God is not done with me. What you may not understand because of your own strong religious beliefs is that God was done with me in my childhood, except to punish me. I don't mean to upset you or challenge your beliefs, but some of us do not have the honor of the relationship with God that you do. And, then I feel judged. I am living a miserable life. I am not suicidal, but I am so done. I know there are those who understand, but there are so many who judge.
P