Any Advice to Help Support A Pancreatic Cancer Patient?

I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law! This is scary and upsetting, I know. If she hasn't already been referred for palliative care and Hospice, please get that in the works as soon as possible. Learn everything you can about what the hospice and Medicare will provide; you may find family members will wind up doing a lot of the patient care yourself. Also, in recent years, many hospices have been purchased by for-profit companies, some of which have been limiting care and services, so check your hospice choice(s) carefully so you understand completely. You will need help on nutrition, hydration and pain control; needs and wants are likely to change at a moment's notice as things progress.

I would get some psychological/spiritual assistance in the works as well, such as visits from a favorite pastor or lay minister, music therapy, etc. Years ago, when my brother had a very short prognosis (he died 3 1/2 months after diagnosis), his friends and co-workers set up a big board in his hospital room and, later, his room at home. Everyone wrote notes, jokes, prayers and encouragement on sticky notes and displayed them on the board, which became fuller and fuller with notes. My brother was a scientist and was well known for his love of sticky notes, so the format fit him perfectly. While he was still feeling well enough to do so, he and his wife went out for short dinners with friends so they could visit as well.

So sorry to hear this. Just lost my dad to mesothelioma at age 85 in July. Definitely hard for the family as well as the patient. Hospice can be a huge help. In my dad's case, they brought in a hospital-style bed that could recline, and had rails for him to grasp onto for help getting in and out of bed. They were also able to help bathe hin 2-3 times / week up until the very end. Sometimes just having a professional / stranger do that preserves a little dignity for the patient, and helps the patient feel they are not being a burden on the family.

There will be a lot of time in bed, so prepare for possible management of bedsores, as well as potty accidents. We found this bed pad https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TZ73MUY and these tailbone dressings https://www.amazon.com/MedVance-TM-Silicone-Bordered-dressings/dp/B079B1S8P8 to be helpful. Of course, follow professional medical advice regarding any of these.

We also had a baby cam in my dad's room. One monitor could be watched and heard on the other side of the house where caretakers were sleeping, but it also had an internet feed we could use to check in remotely. (Audio over the internet didn't work too well with our cheapo system, but you could at least tell if a phone call was in order.)

We got these remote call alarms in case the caretaker didn't hear anything else: https://www.amazon.com/Caregiver-Wireless-Personal-Patients-Assistance/dp/B0C5SYCVCX?th=1

Finally, in the miscellaneous department, my dad found it helpful to drink some of his protein shakes and electrolyte drinks through a straw, and most of the grocery-store straws were too short, so we ordered some extra-long flex straws that did the trick.

On the more human level, different states have different names for the estate planning stuff, so in addition to the documents above, inquire about a "living will" (basically the medical directive) and "designation of health care surrogate" (slightly different in some states than durable power of attorney).

Finally, for the really important stuff: As also mentioned above, inquire about pain management that doesn't make the patient loopy or too sleepy all the time. Make sure you and relatives have time for the really important conversations you want to have. Patients near the end of life are very low on energy, and tend to sleep a lot, and you may not know which conversation with them will be your last. Sometimes they bounce back for one more, and sometimes they don't. 🙁

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Last thoughts: In my dad's last few days, he was still trying to get out of bed, not always successfully. Our local hospice also had a critical care center where they had 24/7 staff to care for him, plus a spare bed, couch, and reclining chairs were family could comfortably stay 24/7 for up to 3-5 days. Very helpful, even though we only used 18 of those hours.

In terms of getting last conversations in... When Hospice administers a pain med of any kind, you should ask if that might accelerate the dying process (deliberately or incidentally). A narcotic that suppresses breathing might be one of those, and that could be your hint this is the last one.

My heartfelt prayers and understanding go out to you.

My experience with my sister was much like what markymark noted - we used Ring cameras, Hospice was essential, I was trained on administering morphine.

There is some danger in new situations so protect yourself. My sister eventually could not walk, so I bear hugged her up and out of wheel chairs. The point came when she could no longer lock her legs - and she collapsed - instantly - as I was lowering her into the chair - worst possible moment. We both went down. My hand was around her head so she did not hit her head on the tiled floor, but my head hit the granite countertop in the bathroom. Our son drove over - my wife, he and I drug her with a sheet back to the hospital bed in her bedroom and got her into bed. The impact opened my forehead to bone, so to ER for 14 stitches, CT scans, etc.