Any Advice to Help Support A Pancreatic Cancer Patient?

Be there with her. You might not say or do the perfect thing, but not being there or showing concern is the most difficult thing. For myself, the text messages, calls, and cards were all beneficial. I found medical advice could sometimes be intrusive (eat mushrooms, don't eat sugar, eat turmeric, try with Marinol etc.) Listening is good. Thanks for sharing your story and hope you will share with us what you learn as you go along.

I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law! This is scary and upsetting, I know. If she hasn't already been referred for palliative care and Hospice, please get that in the works as soon as possible. Learn everything you can about what the hospice and Medicare will provide; you may find family members will wind up doing a lot of the patient care yourself. Also, in recent years, many hospices have been purchased by for-profit companies, some of which have been limiting care and services, so check your hospice choice(s) carefully so you understand completely. You will need help on nutrition, hydration and pain control; needs and wants are likely to change at a moment's notice as things progress.

I would get some psychological/spiritual assistance in the works as well, such as visits from a favorite pastor or lay minister, music therapy, etc. Years ago, when my brother had a very short prognosis (he died 3 1/2 months after diagnosis), his friends and co-workers set up a big board in his hospital room and, later, his room at home. Everyone wrote notes, jokes, prayers and encouragement on sticky notes and displayed them on the board, which became fuller and fuller with notes. My brother was a scientist and was well known for his love of sticky notes, so the format fit him perfectly. While he was still feeling well enough to do so, he and his wife went out for short dinners with friends so they could visit as well.

Wonderful comments here. When I was first diagnosed, stage IV, everyone thought I was a goner. (I’m still here and fine)
They sent pictures of our past fun times together, which made me feel like I was getting help preparing my own funeral! Instead I loved getting occasional flowers from people’s gardens, notes of encouragement and having food around when I couldn’t cook. Did not need the advice on how to eat-nutritionist at doctor gave me that. But most of all, I was so inspired to read of Hope found throughout the Bible and just doing ordinary things with people I truly love. Neighbors, family, friends and resting with my dog!
Be there, and listen. And do things she has always enjoyed.
LOVE

Thank you very very much. Makes perfect sense.

Wonderful, wonderful advice. Thanks for taking the time. Thanks so very very much.

I am very sorry for your loss.

Updated news came today. Her health is collapsing quickly. Now they think she will pass within 3 weeks.

Thanks so very much for taking the time to comment back.

Glad you are ok!!!

Take care now...

samcal,

Others have mentioned care and essential components like hospice.

Please review her medical directive, will, trust, durable power of attorney, any access needed for managing her affairs, etc. Get assistance from a trusted, estate planning attorney, if needed.

I am so sorry you must process all of this so quickly. Hopefully good palliative care will allow her to rest comfortably and see the faces of those she loves more clearly. May God cover your family in love during this difficult time.

Thanks so much for taking the time. Info looks excellent.

My wife and her brother are handling everything.

I will pass this info along to her.

Thank you so much for your concern! It is much appreciated.

(We are religious. My wife's grandparents started a synagogue years and years ago).