I'm lonely I have no friends and it feels stupid

You can make new friends.

It happens a lot to people who are Neurotypical. People tend to be jerks in school and sometimes it continues on into adulthood. We don't have to have a lot of friends to be happy. I have very few friends that I was in junior high with. Just a few connections outside of family can make all the difference. Do some investigating into what your favorite things are. Then follow that trail to actually including groups that reflect your favorites. I really feel like that is a positive step you can take.

How to connect my 57 year old adult male autistic son with friends on the spectrum?

@aprilshowers2, making friends can be challenging. I wonder if you've seen this:
- Making friends - a guide for autistic adults https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/making-friends/autistic-adults

I'm sure that @mamacita @gingerw @auntieoakley and other members have experiences and tips to share.

What activities does your son like to do?

@aprilshowers2 Joy, what is very important for me, is knowing things that interest me, or things I might like to know more about. That way, my mind gets out of my way, I am a bit more relaxed, and open to interacting with others. Otherwise, I am really tense. It sounds strange to say this, but for the most part I "just know" when someone else may be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Remember, it is quite a wide swath.

Like @colleenyoung mentioned, what does your son like to do? Are there any groups nearby that he might look into with those interests?
Ginger

Hi , your story was so interesting to me . I would love to have the answers to help you. There have been wonderful suggestions for you, and responses, on this site. What do you enjoy doing? Therapy is a good place to start. Also to see a doctor , who could help you. Do you have a pet ? Pets are very good to have for loneliness. I think that could be a good place to start. And they attract enough attention to meet some people. And pets are lonely too. So if you can give this a try!! Let us know, whaat you decided. Bc we really care how you are doing!! 💗

I’m not certain about you but when I was in my early teens,the more I wanted something, the more elusive it was. Friends were so difficult to make because I think I had too many expectations. You have to deal with autism and I never had that additional hurdle.

The more I tried to make friends the harder it became. At the time I thought it was me, but looking back now I realize that I was different (6 ft. tall @ 13 yo) and changed schools almost every year so I lived as a perpetual new kid.

Because my height and shyness (and resulting stone face) I think most kids my age felt a little menaced by my presence. Add the puberty mix and I was a nervous wreck most of the time.

I think my point is I do not understand the challenges you face but they will pass and help shape how you relate to others struggling with the same issues. You’re going to learn and grow and be fine.

Good advice. We all have our struggles. They make us who we are.

I'm 60 years older than you are, but I strongly relate to your loneliness. My niece's son is going into his first year of high school and is going through some very similar experiences as you. When I was in high school I felt the same as you. Never fitting in, never being noticed. My niece's son is going to a high school in Denver that focuses of "learning differences". I worked for a company as a staff trainer for many years, and looking at autism and AD/HD as a strength rather than a disability changed attitudes beautifully. But I sympathize with your loneliness. Always feeling like no one sees you in class must feel absolutely awful. I hope you can have help in getting teachers to notice you and welcome you into each class. Good luck to you.

Hello, my friend. You have been given lots of encouragement here. I hope you take it and find some things that work for you. Friendship can be difficult at any age. Communication is key. Your people are out there. Give it some time. Love and light...