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Good morning- There's no need to change your name and initials. Just sign your correct name when you end it what you want to say. I get the name and I'm very glad that you are on Connect.
Everything I go through, live through, work at, etc. seems hard. Ok, I'm winning. Losing a husband is damn hard. It's like waking up in a world you are somehow disconnected from. Today seems particularly difficult for me. Out of the blue someone contacted me and started flirting. WOW
My mind has gone in two different directions. One wonders what David would think (my counselor says that it doesn't matter because it's me and my life now) and the other is very protective from being hurt or winding up in a situation that I'm not able to handle. I love to flirt but in situations that I can read, not in situations that I can't.
Keep having those Eureka moments, I love mine. They are great, eh?
Writing is a passion of mine, although I haven't written much about David's death yet or my feelings. I tend to hold things in a lot, and my time for writing will come.
However, I do write a lot to my mentor friends and I think that counts a lot and has helped me more than they will ever know!
Being stuck is the name of the game. It can take a long time to go forward. Sometimes it seems that it will never happen and then it does, even for a bit.
Replies to "Good morning- There's no need to change your name and initials. Just sign your correct name..."
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Yes its been a rough day for me today as well. I'm starting to wonder if there is a point where i am holding on to Jared and to my grief because its kept me company for so long, Besides, its a scary world out there now that he has been grabbed from it. Perhaps i indulge my feelings too much. If i get away for a weekend with friends then I am truly able to be in the moment. But i can't travel with friends forever because I still must return to solo living and then the longing for "us". My therapist and I are starting to reprocess the accident/trauma so that i can "refile" that memory--yet i am still protesting the fact that he is gone.
Speaking of flirting...I actually went on a blind date last week--the first date with a different guy in 43 years!! The texting and emailing beforehand (i suppose the flirting) was actually fun and exciting and he seemed so responsive and funny. But in person? Totally different guy showed up! Online I had admitted that I wanted to meet up with him as soon as possible before i lost my nerve. He assured me that we would have fun and laugh if nothing else. Honestly, I asked him at the end of the date what happened to all the jokes? I texted him the next day to thank him but to explain that i obviously wasn't ready for this. But, I also knew that he was not a good fit or even a good guy. The next several days I was lower than usual. My therapist warned me that dates and such can elicit all sorts of emotions. Boy was she correct! But I'm glad to have gone through with it and to have "ripped that band aid" right off. To be honest, I always hated dating.
Hang in there. It does help knowing that much of this is normal and "shared" by others. It seems like I'll ask my therapist every 3-4 sessions, "What is wrong with me?" and she usually ends up reassuring me that "This is not uncommon. You are normal".
Karen