i can't stop self-isolating

Meringue700, God loves you more than you can imagine. John 3:16. Our hope! Oh, yes HE does. You are worthy of so many things and I am so sorry that life has been so unkind to you. Sounds like you are battling a lot of "false guilt" about yourself. God's word says you are "fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139:14, how about that? I am so glad you are seeing a therapist. I hope they are helping you to move forward. I know these last 3 years have been harder on people battling depression because of Covid isolation. Do the next thing....it's that simple. Get out in the sunshine for a few minutes. Look at the beauty outside around you that God created. If it's just getting up and making your bed, then do that. Then do the next thing after that. I know it sounds hard, but, just do the next thing. Keeping your mind busy is vital. An idle mind can easily become depressed. You can be a tremendous blessing to others. Withdrawing from others only makes depression worse. Do you have a good support group outside your living conditions? A church you can connect with some people? I am praying for you right now. You have so much to offer this world. I can tell you are a kind person...you even said so. We all need you.

Find someone worse off than you and be their friend. Your life will change. It’s easier than you think. The next time you give money to a homeless person ask them how they are doing and just talk. It means more to them then the money. It never fails to make me feel better and more worthwhile. The rest will flow from there.

What I have is a need to be needed. Its why I’m on this message board. Maybe it is true for you too.

Be well and remember you are loved!

You just said that you have a friend or two which is about two more than I have so you cannot be as unlikeable as you have said. However, it sounds like you are suffering from depression and that is most likely the basis of what you call self isolation. Maybe seeking some professional help is in order. You may not even need to leave your home. There are online services available. Check out some of them and choose one that seems to meet your needs. Try it and hopefully it may lead to better days.

I isolate too. Recently my drtold me to do outside ever t morning. I sit on my front porch and watch t h e neighborhood.
I wave and say Hi to the neighbors ors I see. . It helps remind d me I'm not alone. Sometimes I want to give under my bed and hide or sleep all day.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time, but I want you to know that you're not alone. It takes a lot of courage to share your feelings, and I'm glad you reached out. Remember, it's okay to struggle, and you absolutely deserve support and compassion.

It's tough when life throws challenges our way, especially when it affects our mental health and relationships. The toxic environment and the changes in your friend group must have been really difficult to handle. Sometimes, it's okay to take a step back and prioritize your well-being.

You mentioned that you rarely talk about your emotions, even to your best friend. Maybe consider opening up a bit more to them when you feel ready. Real friends care about each other and want to support one another through tough times.

You are worth someone's time, and you do matter. It's completely normal to feel like you're not good enough, but please know that those negative thoughts don't define your worth. You have qualities beyond just being pretty and nice; everyone is unique and brings something special to the world.

If you find it hard to see your worth, talking to your therapist about these feelings could be beneficial. They can provide guidance and help you work through these emotions.

Remember, seeking interaction, compassion, and support is a natural human need, and there's nothing wrong with reaching out to others when you need it. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all need help sometimes.

Take things one step at a time and focus on small positive changes in your life. Surround yourself with supportive and understanding people who truly care about you. You deserve love and happiness, so don't hesitate to seek it. You're stronger than you think, and things can get better with time and effort.

It's alright to have tough days, and it's okay to share your feelings. Never apologize for expressing yourself. Just know that you have the strength to overcome this challenging period, and brighter days are ahead.

I feel the same way. I rarely speak to or see anyone other than my Dr appts. My daughter begged me to speak to her just a little a few months ago, I couldn't. Now she's gone, I feel soo horrible, I know how bad she felt. She was 36 and just as alone as I am. I've been trying to get things ready to go see my son for 5 days and still haven't got it together to go. It's a 3 hr drive and I stay a week or so. I have severe fatigue from narcolepsy. I take my meds and end up watching tv or online like now. They wear off and haven't done a single thing. I take them again, same thing again every day. I end up taking more than I'm supposed too. I just think, I have to to get this done, they wear off after 2-3 hours and after 30 years barely work anyway. My house is a disaster, I can't stand it like this. Idk when the last time I took a shower was. It takes so much energy. Feb probably, I wash my hair when I have an appt, thats it. I'm 58, years of incapacitating fatigue and depression have taken a toll on how I look. I have no strength left what so ever anymore. So I feel like you, I have nothing good to offer anyone at all anymore and now look like I don't too. I've been with my boyfriend 18 years but hardly ever really see him he likes being alone. I don't like being alone, it's one of my worst fears, there's no way I can go out meeting anyone. At least he's there sometimes or when I can get over there. I moved 240 miles away from everything, isolating myself even more and don't have the energy to move back. So I get it! I wish I knew something that helps. Just that I completely get it.

Oh the horrors of isolation. We have all gone through it and it is with me today. I always felt worthless and that I was a bad person. With the help of a really good therapist I found out that this was due to a horrible mother who constantly punished me, humiliated me and made my life as miserable as she could. Since then I also found out that other members of the family knew what she was doing to me but no one stepped in to help me. I honestly do not know how I did this but from somewhere I found the courage to leave her hostile environment and move far away. I was able to find a job and a place to live. I made a sort of life for myself. Some God was smiling down at me because I also met my husband. We were married for 59 years before he died. I am not sure I can ever get over this. My therapist has diagnosed me with PTSD because of the abusive childhood I suffered. Most of the time I feel more comfortable being alone and it is hard to meet new people. I am still in therapy. I am also very old. One month from today I will be 89 years old. But physically I am in remarkably good shape. I am able to live independently and drive myself wherever I need to go. I do not look like my age either. So I guess that's a good thing. But I know about isolation and that is not a good thing. My therapist is helping me to go out by myself. So far have not been able to do this. But all we can do is plug away and hope for the best.

Apparently you do not seem to have some genetic bad luck, that's a very good news -- though even genes don't express themselves without the environment they are in, the so called epigenetics. Nature is more complex than we 'd ever fully know.

Now I think I was very close to deep sense of 'all doors closing in on me' when in my early twenties (I'm in my 8th decade now) and even though I've had three cycles of 'good' times and 'bad' times in my life, like everyone else, I've been good at certain things and not-good at others, which makes me -- and most of us -- normal people, people who fee Good Enough. But more importantly, being who we are good at makes for an INTeresting humanity.
I'd NOT change myself for what I am not; we all need to be AUTHENTIC beings, true to ourselves, if we truly want a healthy RECIPROCAL bond.

So when you say: the thing is i really don't feel like i'm worth anyone's time anyways, so everyone's just better off if i stay behind and wait for them to talk to me when they want to. i don't do enough for anyone to justify making them pay attention to me, so why should i bother them?" WHAT I am at a loss to know the people you wish to connect with are likely WITHIN your expectations (I'd would not be interesting to someone who wants to talk about sports and dining out, for example, NOR I WOULD WANT TO. For a Mutually Rewarding friendship/connection EACH side must feel they enjoy the other. Otherwise what's the point??

So I can understand your reaction: "pretty" and "nice" are the only good qualities i can think of for myself, but being pretty doesn't make me a worthwhile person and being nice is just the bare minimum.

But to say: "i'm just… not good enough for anyone. or at least i can't even rationalize myself out of thinking it because it just makes perfect sense to me. i don't know, what am i supposed to do?" isn't it then you have not truly found out what is good about you that at least YOU are proud of; after all WE ALL are good at something otherwise this whole society with its culture and services won't be here, right? We all are cogs in this vast machine; each one counts. As a retired person today I am fixated with finding what is this thing called overdose deaths that's eating America from inside out as the numbers keep grwoing EACH YEAR!

So, while I am happy within My Skin -- that's the frst condition to enter into any connection, only then maybe 'love' may come. But yes we don't want HOSTILE people around us I'm happy as long as they are CIVIL and engage in some passing laughter and shared challenges that we confront both as a Society and as a PERSON.

So I wish you get your wish as I believe the basis of love, too, need to be MUTUAL to have. And let's remember NONE of us (by and large) is a devil or an angel. So good luck with "all i want is to feel loved but how am i supposed to when seeking any interaction or compassion or even just asking for support here makes me feel like i'm the devil? i just feel stuck. what can i even do???

I can tell you lots about the opiate epidemic. My 28 yr old daughter died due to fentanyl poisoning in 2017. I started a non profit to raise awareness and to honor the lives lost.
My heart, hopes and dreams for the future are forever broken.

That’s what I try to do but it’s not working . One year ago my husband’s cancer returned after 27 years . He had a cancerous tumor on the base of his skull. He was operated on and thank god survived , but they could
not get it all , because it was too close to an artery . He already had radiation so they can’t do it again and chemo does not respond to it . So now they monitor him with scans . He is able to
work . He lost hearing and ear drum in his left ear . I am a complete mess . Yes , I speak to a therapist. I am on meds . I can’t function without them . I worry about meds at the same . I need them for anxiety and sleep and depression. COVID pandemic triggered everything for me . Now his cancer ………and the unknown