Hi, I can relate. A couple of ideas:

- I like the “‘This works for us, thanks.’” advice from this columnist Carolyn Hax: Relentless scrutiny makes family visits a stressful chore: (gift link) https://wapo.st/3Ym7EYo

- And this one: Carolyn Hax: When grandparents visit, toddler still goes to day care: (gift link) https://wapo.st/45gpmP5 . What about something like, “I appreciate your desire to hold your grandchild, but my child responds badly to disrupted routines and may make their already tired parent pay dearly for it.”

- Lastly, sometimes taking a break from family visits, whether permanent or temporary, is essential to mending one’s mental health—in the care of a therapist. That’s what I did. One of the more successful ways to make that break is a self-focused approach. “You might say, ‘I hope you can understand, but I have some things internally I’m working on for me and my child. I’ll be in touch down the road when I can.’”

I hope something here is helpful; keep reaching out to us for support, and please take good care of yourself.

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