My dad died of end stage renal failure about 35 yrs. ago. Because he was a veteran, a dialysis unit was delivered to his home and Mom was taught how to use it. He used to scream in pain during the treatments and he asked Mom to get his gun and shoot him. He was, obviously, out of his head with pain, because even Mother Teresa wasn't nicer or more gentle than my Mom. He ended up dying in a VA hospital. Now, 2 doctors are concerned about my kidneys. My husband and I are very old, crippled, weak, feeble and hurt badly for several reasons. Additionally, I have Dementia. I don't want to go through dialysis if I'm told that's what I need. I'm forgetting things, doing things that could have potentially been dangerous. Dialysis, just to get worse and be a bigger burden to my husband. Am I being stupid or can you see my point?