Hello My Brothers! (and Concerned Family Members and Friends),
I'm a "Cancer Survivor" too, with Gleason Scores of 7 and 8 in all 6 sections of the prostate (12 biopsy samples), an inital PSA of 8 in July 2019 that increased to 20 in January 2021 and I also had protrusions in the EPE, that I decided may be too close to the bladder and rectum for surgery. (I was concerned about "clear / clean margins": surgeons like to get all the cancer out of the body and I was concerned that I might come out of surgery with a bag or two, one for the front and one for the back.) I did get a second opinion and learned about a longitutinal study on men with pc (outside of my cohort) that indicated that after 8 years the all cause mortality for the men treated with external beam radiation (25 bouts), High Intensity Radiation (17 stainless steel tubes inserted into various parts of the prostate with an isotope guided through it and positioned for certain periods of time, my Radiologists also has her PhD in Mathematics and Physics.), and ADT -Androgen Deprovation Therapy forever, was only 3% mortality versus nearly 35% all cause mortality for the surgery only group. I've been married for over 40 years, my wife and I have been Blessed with Children and Grandchildren; I, We, both Love "The Marriage Embrace" and we had lengthy and tearful heart to hearts on which option was best for US. At Nearly 70 years old, We decided upon the EBRT, HIR and ADT protocols, hopefully choosing longevity over virility.
It has been 2-1/4 years on the LUPRON Shots and my PSA has dropped to 0.03, Testesterone to a < g which is almost nothing on both! My joints and muscles hurt, sometimes the knee pain is sharp and wakes me up in the night and radiates for some time. I've gone for X-rays and I'm told it is only arthitis. So I don't know if it's cancer going into the bone, arthitis, the statin for my heart, or if I'm a wimp! I used to go for long walks along a road on one of the Great Lakes here in America. Sometimes 14 miles, usually 6.3 miles; on brisk, cold, sunny winter days when I didn't have to carry as much water, a 20 miler. Only a few years ago I would jog marathons, now I can't jog 1/2 a mile. But, I'm taking a break from the Lupron for a little while. That is how I found this "chat room", I was trying to find out how long before my muscular strength and muscular endurance returns? Or am I being Selfish, am I risking my health and longevity to grasp at a mirage of fitness that was my former life, never to return, never to feel the cold brisk air as I pant and gasp my way up and down a hill, the pound of the legs and the mantra in my head- "Run Tall! Run Tall!", the good ache of a rewarding morning jog, with push-ups and sit-ups, energy to cut down trees and dig holes and do the outside work around the house, and most of all the strength to help others- I was strong, I could and would give it away freely to neighbors, family, strangers in need; that hurts me the most and is what I miss the most- the inability to be able to help others. I can still hug my wife, the dancing is still enjoyable but I can only dance fast for about 1/2 a song and then we have to slow down or I need to sit. Carrying the laundry up to the bedroom is like climbing up Mt.Marcy and I need to sit and rest on the bed for a few minutes. I sometimes cry now, on Important things like my feelings for my Wife, Children and Grandchildren; Our Country, The World and The Poor; and sometimes on stupid things like "chick flicks". I appreciate clean, crisp air and huge deep breaths, the trees' leaves that give us oxygen, the birds in flight, the beauty of the sky and Nature; the Goodness in Mankind and I've found a little bit of compassion for the foibles in my fellow man that I have always been harsh and quick to judge. I don't know about you dear sirs, but I have a faith, unfortunately not as big as the size of a mustard seed, but I have a faith and I've been richly blessed; not in material things or money; but with family a great set of Saints for parents and grandparents, a wife I have loved imperfectly but with all my heart and strength, kids who are good people, joyful grandchildren and in-laws, a meaningful job but with questionable results (painfully tragic some of my former students are murderers and some have been murdered), but I believe we all will have a Good, Peaceful, Understanding, Loving Better Existence in our next Life in Heaven. And the Great Gift of Strength and Vitality I had known and still grasp at, I have to graciously return to the LORD with great gratitude and thanksgiving for having been given it for nearly 60+ years, and as my other gifts The Creator has most graciously Given to me as they fade and falter, I too need to be Thankful and Grateful to Him for having been able to have them and use them for so many years. Good Luck and God's Strength and Comfort to your Wife and Family,dear Sir(s)!
I have run out of space and will in the following days post my wife's and my journey together for those interested. God Bless You All and All in the World. Thank you Doctors, Researchers, & Nurses, EtAl.
Sincerely,
weak but strong P.S. (Please, listen to YOUR Doctors on Your PC and make Your Decisions!) I'm just an old worn out gym teacher, not a healer. and my path may not be the correct path for you.