New here referred from suicide hotline

Hello, Am sure you will meet people to chat with here as I have. Yes many particularly on this site connected to Mayo Clinic have had or are having rough time and the moderators too.... Seems my life has been up and down , highs and lows, and some people dont experience the lows but also dont experience the highs .... either way it can be so painful at times either physically or mentally. I am an older person looking back on my life, its twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad choices.... and when really down it's not that I don't want to continue living its that I just feel I cannot take one more day feeling as I do....then things pick up a bit and , in my case, when I am feeling better physically I feel better mentally. I have not gone into the Mental Health Support Group yet but think there will also be people to talk to there.... where I live its getting close to 11pm so am sorting out my night pills and rethinking the day; wondering what tomorrow will bring. I think it
is a full moon tonight... maybe that will bring you luck and friendship if its your your first visit here.. I have found it helpful as one of the human tools to help cope with various issues from life threatening to even a joke section where I thought I might never regain some sense of humour. Take care, wishing you the best ... J.

Hi Cody and Valerie! You have come to a good site. You can speak openly here and not be judged and it is a safe place. I will pray for both of you today and hope that as the sun rises on this new day, you can find some hope and love in it.

Welcome @cody123567890, I'm really glad that you took the time to create an account and come chat here on Mayo Clinic Connect. I can help connect you with other people.

I'll start by sharing a bit about me this morning. The weather is a bit cooler today, so I've decided to set up my remote office in the back garden. I'm lucky enough to have a little garden oasis in the middle of an urban setting. It really helps keep me centered.

You mention that you've been having a rough time lately. Do you want to tell me more about that? Or simply start by telling me anything about yourself that you'd like to share.

Hello! I've also been having a rough time lately. I have used the suicide hotline in the past as well. This is a crazy world we're living in and I'm realizing more and more that we're all just trying to get by. Here to chat!

I would greatly appreciate that.
My name is cody have a wife and a daughter with another kiddo on the way. We are very much stuck on what to do about our housing situation due to my wife lost her job the last time she got pregnant. We barely make it by and are debating on moving back in with my parents but that comes with its own issues and worry about my mental health due to id lose being able to do my hobbies as well. Over the past few days I kept feeling hopeless then yesterday it got really down hopelessness and reached out to the hotline.

Congratulations on your family and a new little one on the way.
You're wise to recognize that maintaining your mental health is an essential foundation to being a good parent and supportive partner, and to work towards solutions to help with stable housing.

I'm tagging fellow members @jenatsky @brandysparks @gingerw to join this discussion too, as they may have tips to share.

While we give others a chance to jump in, I'm wondering if you've heard of
- FindHelp https://www.findhelp.org/

It's a site and search to find things like social work support, financial assistance, food pantries, medical care, and other free or reduced-cost services. All you have to enter is your Zip code. A social worker can help with housing for example.

Hi Cody, this is my first post on this specific forum.

Just wanted to say that I know how miserable financial issues can be, as they've been pushing me also to the point of suicidal ideation lately, and I haven't even lost my income (yet). My business partner ran into a very bad scandal with wrecked a large portion of the small business we'd worked hard to build over 20 years, just like half of it gone in a wink. This happened just shortly after I finally met someone new many years after my divorce, and she moved in with me, and fear of the rest of the business crashing down is omnipresent now. My new girlfriend has medical conditions that limit how much she can work, so I feel responsible not just for my own fate, but for hers as well.

Although I don't have answers yet, I'm trying to find strength. When I am feeling badly now the anxiety is so crippling and so painful, and there's just NO place where I can find relief. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and have been trying some medications, but still looking for the exact right solution there. Propranolol has helped with anxiety when my chest area kind of just feels awful. If you are not seeing someone to discuss medicine options, that might be worth a try?

I'm also looking for a new therapist, as my last one was very nice but mostly just listened, and I want someone who will challenge me more, provide more feedback, and also someone with some DBT training who might be able to help me manage my strong emotions better. DBT was originally created for people with Borderline, however I'm told it can be very useful to lots of people outside that group and has very practical skills to practive to help keep strong emotions in check. I don't know if it will work for me yet, as the guy I chose isn't available to start with me for a few weeks yet, but you might read up a little on DBT to see if it sounds interesting? It's a bit hard to find a therapist trained in this, as most use CBT, which is fine too as it helps with my tendency to zero in on negative thoughts while ignoring the positive things that happen.

It goes without saying that your wife, your daughter and your second child will all need you in their lives. I try to lean in on logic when my emotions are getting the better of me, and I'm sure logically you know they do. You're lucky to have a daughter, they're such a blessing for a father, which isn't to discount the boys of course.

Congratulations by the way on the upcoming newborn. I'm 50 years old and I've reached that point in life where I have quite a bit of reference, and times are just very unusual right now with work and expenses and all that stuff, the pandemic was just such a disruption on all that. I do however know that things come and go in cycles, and there IS light at the end of the tunnel even if it's not always easy to see.

Wishing you and your family the best.

I appreciate your reply and yeah I cant imagine losing half your business that quick. Congrats on the new relationship though. I know how the feeling the sole provider can be since my wife didnt work for a good half year not long after she got pregnant. I have considered medication but the cost of medical is nuts especially with a 2nd baby on the way. Will look into DBT though and see what that is all about.

Thank you for the info and I always feel with all those sites that they will just say we make too much. Sadly in a way ive lost hope in the system when my wife was fired. Unemployment denied her as well. Then she was hired again just to be fired again after a week. Went to the EEOC just to be told it was all valid. Will give the site a try but not super hopeful.

Hi. Sending you very best wishes here too...It's good you've found this forum, as it has become a beacon of hope and light for me, and I greatly value the contributions of others who post and visit here, not to mention the Moderators and Volunteer Mentors who contribute in such a solid and insightful way.
As for DBT, I ran into when my sister was recovering from an attempt at suicide, and the clinic she chose to stay in for her recovery had a handbook on DBT. I believe I'd also read about the creator of this approach - a Marsha Linehan, PhD I think - in a New York Times article about her. She decided to reveal, after many years as a therapist and academic, I think, that she too suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder, and came to the point where she felt it was more important for her patients and readers to know that she herself suffered from this.
If this pastes in properly, here is her memoir - which I have not yet read, but you may do a search also and see more about this approach:

Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir
Amazon.com
https://www.amazon.com › Building-Life-Worth-Livi...
Marsha Linehan tells the story of her journey from suicidal teenager to world-renowned developer of the life-saving behavioral therapy DBT, using her own ...
https://depts.washington.edu/uwbrtc/our-team/marsha-linehan/
I look forward to hearing more from you, and I encourage you, from my own experience here, to check out the different topics, sign up for the daily topics updated list, and visit / follow related helpful topics in this MayoClinicConnect. It is quite a unique forum, safe and welcoming, and most practical in its presentation and sharing of real-life challenges, and uplifting, too!