Offering you a big hug as I have been where you are. I was diagnosed with MGUS 11/2021 after a CT Scan for another reason indicated an enlarged spleen. I was afraid when they referred me to an oncologist/hematologist as I immediately thought "cancer" and all that went with that word. Lots of bloodwork, bone marrow biopsy, 24 hour urine, and visits every 3 months, I'm now on a follow-up schedule for 6 months. I was the worst with Dr. Google looking for answers, but Dr. Google did not have my chart in hand and I have fired him. I had never heard of MGUS or understood its' precursors to more serious blood cancers, and now I am grateful for knowing, rather than not knowing. I'm no longer thinking about this 24/7 and waiting for the other shoe to drop--I know what to look for and have a medical team who will help me if I have any symptoms. At first, I was scared and my oncologist has talked me off the ledge a few times. Now, I keep a journal to track everything I feel, think, want to know, etc., and bring it to my appointments. Does the cancer thought ever go away completely? No, but I have taken more control of how I deal with it. As others have recommended, you may want to reach out to someone to talk about it to learn how to deal with these thoughts. Ask your Oncology Team to make recommendations to help find the right care. Also, I read this website daily to keep up to date and just stay informed. Congrats to you for taking the first step and being part of the community and sharing your story! Please stay in touch!