@sueinmn hi Sue, oh my I’ve had the opposite experience. Similar to what you described about your in-laws. My family was the secretive one. Very careful about what we shared with each other and especially careful sharing with outsiders.
We didn’t express our feelings or ask questions as children because we would be ignored.
Then, I married into a more “normal” lifestyle and felt very uncomfortable with the idea of the in-laws knowing our business. That marriage didn’t survive for other reasons.
Then, the marriage into a family with no emotional borders! Everything, and I mean everything was shared, debated, decided by the patriarch of the family. Emotional wreckage was everywhere and I couldn’t believe how a wife and grown children would “let” the man run everything for them. They couldn’t pick a color out for a wall in their own own house because they were not taught to make their own decisions. They had to check with daddy.
My husband was under his father’s watch. I felt betrayed and frustrated. I refused to buy into the “daddy will do it” mentality. I rebelled and was therefore called the American. (they were 3rd generation from Europe)
My husband is a wonderful person, but the marriage was incredibly difficult for me. After 21 years we divorced.

I rebelled against those families because they were not like mine and I was not able to accept them and make the adjustment. I applaud you for your courage and your willingness to do what I was not able to do.

Blessings!