Good morning, SusanEllen. Our childhood’s can surely make us or break us! Reminds me of the old joke about a Freudian slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother. ☺️
We’re shaped by the people around us even as adults. If we’re in an office setting or anywhere, we’re influenced by the company we keep. Years ago there was a new coworker who changed the flavor of the office where I worked, reducing it to a gossipy, unpleasant surrounding. It took even the strongest of us down to the nasty person’s basic level. We made changes and brought the positive aura back again…harmony was restored.

I use that as an example that we can go through personality changes and that we can rise above our thoughts when we realize that we’re not happy with our current pattern. We are not our thoughts! ☺️

In your heart, you’re truly not a rude person. Even well meaning people can come across this way unintentionally. It sounds like you grew up forming your conversational skills with a family unit who was acerbic and rude. That becomes the norm for behavior. But you’re realizing that’s not how you want to be.
I know you can make these changes! It will take baby steps but you’re already conscious of the fact that you want to be a ‘kinder, gentler’ version of yourself. But keep the moxie! Hehe.

Try looking online or at the library for self help books for conversational skills. There are videos on Youtube. And like I mentioned yesterday , “Think before you speak” is such an easy way to not put a foot into the mouth…and for sure that isn’t easy!! I often have things to say and swear there are bite marks on my tongue.
But I think if you take this slowly you can make little changes to start feeling happier and more satisfied with the way you talk with people. Try little things like smiling more, doing random acts of kindness, giving positive affirmations to yourself and others.
When you see something that bothers you, try to let it go instead of commenting. (Aside of abuse to a person, animal, etc.) Try internalizing the conversation instead of saying your response out loud. Maybe roll play in your head to see what it would feel like if you were the one on the receiving end of what you’re about to say to someone else.

You are a really sweet person from what I’m reading, I think it’s time to let the real you shine. And for heaven’s sake, get yourself a box of crayons and put the pink and yellow next to each other!!! That’s one of my favorite color combos!!
Hugs!