Good morning @bdt. This is a tough one and it's going to take a lot of stamina to get through this, but you can do it! I was my husband's caretaker for a little over a year. His problems came on very quickly. And I learned very quickly that to try and figure out why he called me by certain names from his past was futile. The more I read and the more videos I watched on YouTube the more I understood that his brain had changed, or that certain parts of his brain no longer worked, and that his disease was stronger than I was. Sometimes I questioned where he was, for instance, if he began talking about traveling north, I asked if he meant a certain place.

He was very fond of our state Neurological Hospital. He really liked his doctor and looking back on it, I believe that he thought that he could be cured there. One day, we were driving home from visiting our nephew and his new son. He kept telling me that I was going in the wrong direction, that I should be going north, not south. I think that last November he thought that I was taking him to the hospital which was north of where we lived. This lasted quite a while until he just became quiet and when we got home he had forgotten all about it.

He also thought there were two of me. That was particularly fun. I'm not sure, even at this point, where he thought that the "real" me lived but the one who he really liked took care of him and was the head of the hospital that he really liked (north of where we lived). I liked that one too! It seemed as if I had 2 wardrobes also. lol I could wrap my thinking around that very easily. He also loved the "north" me because he loved my cooking at night. And he never said that he didn't like the "southern" me. He just never mentioned me, her??

I reminded him that I was his wife and that my name was Merry. He asked me a lot of questions to prove it and I made a game out of it. It was a confusing time, for sure. I tried to keep him in the present but after a while it was impossible. We went on a lot of adventures together- to Cuba (neither of us had ever been) to Europe (we had been together). We also laughed a lot.

I never made a big deal of his personal care. I just went about taking care of what needed to be done. I was so impressed, that this man who had written several books, won many awards, and taught many people (including me) could very nonchalantly let me do what I had to to take care of him. He was a proud man, in health and illness.

Dave is no longer with me, dying less than 4 months ago, but he made me proud that even with his horrible illness I could walk next to him and his walker with great pride. He was my man.

Merry