Connect
← Return to Sexless Marriage (when one partner is ill)
Discussion
Sexless Marriage (when one partner is ill)
Men's Health | Last Active: 4 hours ago | Replies (191)Comment receiving replies
I have quite a bit to say on this subject. First, my spouse has been battling BC for over 15 years. It has been a sexual trainwreck, but l love this woman like no other and could never see myself ever cheating. This has unfortunately wreaked havoc on my mental status. The sex abruptly ended as soon as the hormones were chemically shutdown, it was over pretty much from there. There were many attempts on my part until she finally had the courage to admit that she felt nothing sexually and nothing would change that. I am 60 now and had hoped by now my sexual feelings would begin to
wain, but no, its worse!! Personally l feel as if l am in a living hell. I wish it weren't true but it is. I know l am not alone in these private feelings.
Replies to "I have quite a bit to say on this subject. First, my spouse has been battling..."
No, you are not alone with your private feelings. I haven’t a solution to your problem but it’s a very difficult one.
Because of health issues, of my husband, it has been years too for intimacy of that kind.
I exercise a lot!
I usually do not discuss this, just because it is no one’s business what happens or doesn’t happen in my bedroom. My husband and I are often referred to as the love story for the ages.
I got breast cancer in my 30s and like your wife, I just lost the capacity for sex. First physically as the tissue atrophied and it would tear, bleed and be an excruciating exercise. Then mentally as I tried to avoid that pain and humiliation. My husband and I did find other avenues for intimacy that did not involve actual intercourse.
He was very kind and patient, and continued to love me like no other man could or would.
Six years later my husband was diagnosed with a devastating bone cancer that left him in pain all the time and broken bones, and one lung partially paralyzed. This ended our sexual life for good. One day when we were talking about this he said “if I had been like our friend, and left you over this, then who would have loved me when it happened to me”.
We are still very much in love and and enjoy each other’s company and I am grateful daily for my marriage.
I don’t know if any of that info can be helpful to you, but try to talk about this with your wife, and remember love doesn’t require sex to be healthy.
Connect
Be thankful for life itself and all the other blessings you have. Volunteer somewhere. Help others, keep busy, go to church. Be happy you have someone to live with. Many are alone and lonely.