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DiscussionSexless Marriage (when one partner is ill)
Men's Health | Last Active: Dec 15 11:01am | Replies (196)Comment receiving replies
Replies to "I have quite a bit to say on this subject. First, my spouse has been battling..."
No, you are not alone with your private feelings. I haven’t a solution to your problem but it’s a very difficult one.
Because of health issues, of my husband, it has been years too for intimacy of that kind.
I exercise a lot!
I usually do not discuss this, just because it is no one’s business what happens or doesn’t happen in my bedroom. My husband and I are often referred to as the love story for the ages.
I got breast cancer in my 30s and like your wife, I just lost the capacity for sex. First physically as the tissue atrophied and it would tear, bleed and be an excruciating exercise. Then mentally as I tried to avoid that pain and humiliation. My husband and I did find other avenues for intimacy that did not involve actual intercourse.
He was very kind and patient, and continued to love me like no other man could or would.
Six years later my husband was diagnosed with a devastating bone cancer that left him in pain all the time and broken bones, and one lung partially paralyzed. This ended our sexual life for good. One day when we were talking about this he said “if I had been like our friend, and left you over this, then who would have loved me when it happened to me”.
We are still very much in love and and enjoy each other’s company and I am grateful daily for my marriage.
I don’t know if any of that info can be helpful to you, but try to talk about this with your wife, and remember love doesn’t require sex to be healthy.
Be thankful for life itself and all the other blessings you have. Volunteer somewhere. Help others, keep busy, go to church. Be happy you have someone to live with. Many are alone and lonely.