I'm lonely I have no friends and it feels stupid

@shnokeyq I'm glad you are reaching out to us here on Mayo Clinic Connect! How did you find us?

There is a wide definition of being on the autism spectrum. I myself have Aspergers Syndrome, which they call a social anxiety dis-order. Like you, I don't make friends very easily.

Now you say your last friend is gone. What happened, did they move away? Making new friends is never easy for anyone, let me assure you. Finding something in common, something you both like to do or a place to go to, seems to help. Have you thought about what you might like to do as an activity with a new friend? Tell me about your interests and hobbies. maybe that will give you some ideas how to meet a few new friends. You know it won't happen overnight, and you have to keep pushing on to get to know others.

I hope you will write back,
Ginger

Hello @shnokeyq, I think you are not alone when it comes to having difficulty making new friends. School can sometimes be a difficult place to make new friends if you haven't grown up with the other kids. This article has some suggestions that I think you might really find helpful.
--- Making Friends: Answers for Teens With Autism: https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/making-friends.html

Can you share the article with your parents to see if they can help you practice some of the ways suggested to make new friends?

my friend was going through a lot of things and are friendship was stressful to her and she said she didn't want to be friends anymore I tried to be as understanding as I could but it still made me sad and she was my last friend

I like playing video games
watching anime
going outside
drawing
taking care of animals

I really miss my friend we were going to hang out during the summer but she said her mom didn't want me to come over for a while, I usually have to go summer school after the school year ends because I have a hard time focusing but I tried really hard and I fully passed 7th grade so that we could hang out but now we're not friends anymore and it makes me sad

Well, dang it! Can you volunteer at an animal shelter, or animal hospital? You will meet others like you who are in to the critters, and you might just find a different friend. At the least, you will have something in common with them!

What kind of drawing do you do? Is it more anime like your profile shows, or something else? You know, I sometimes took summer school to take a class that I had no time to get during the regular school year, and got to meet other kids I wouldn't know otherwise. Or maybe volunteering at a museum?

Maybe your friend's mother will change her mind soon.
Ginger

Shnokeyq, I think you are a mighty smart and mature young man for 13 to find the Mayo Clinic Website and post! Some young person is missing out on a blessing by not being your friend. I agree with Ginger about volunteering at an animal shelter....sounds like you would be phenomenal at that. Do you have a pet by the way? That would be responsibility for you but, a lot of company. Sometimes teenagers can be cruel and I am so sorry for that and the teacher overlooking you as well. How about practicing in front of a mirror talking to others this summer? (Sounds silly doesn't it? LOL) "Hi, my name is so and so, how are you?" "Have you had a good summer so far?" "Hey, do you like video games?" "Would you like to hang out sometime?" "Do you like pizza?" Etc...., Sometimes once you get the conversation started, it will flow from there. Guess what, I bet there are other teens that are lonely and shy as well. Praying for you and I hope you have a spectular summer. Praying for your friend's mother to have a change of heart. You are loved by others on this website that have posted comments already. Keep us posted please!

@shnokeyq
I believe at @gingerw gave you some good advice. I met my best friend while volunteering at the YMCA. When she passed away I volunteered at the police department and met another best friend. We have been friends for over 40 years now. I’m not very good at initiating a conversation, but if someone speaks to me, I seize the moment. I took a Pilates class which I didn’t like except the camaraderie. I’d always tell jokes which helped start conversations. Now a lady from that class is a dear friend. Two other friends I met while volunteering at a hospital doing medical billing.
Remember, “A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.” Although I find that to be true. It still takes effort and sometimes courage to get the ball rolling.
If you’re not good at starting a conversation, listen and jump in whenever you get the opportunity.
Good luck,
Jake

I'm sorry your lonely but you're not alone when it comes to feeling that way I'm with someone for 20 years and we both have moments when we feel lonely making friends it's work but finding activities that can get you engaged and what about Church that's a GREAT place to meet others your age too 🌈

Can I ask why did the Mom ask you to stop coming over for a while did something happen your very young and in your teens it's hard to be a teenager these days and it was hard when I was a teen too but I think it's harder now with so many people detached from engaging but that doesn't mean give up we ALL need friends and it takes time have patience it'll happen try to engage🌈

Do you like to journal your thoughts and how about creating a vision board on what you want in your LIFE and see it through your vision board creation you can look up online vision board.. 🌈

How about your neighborhood are there kids around maybe you can try to talk to them do you have a local pool to go to or sports you can engage with others if you join a little league baseball team or what about gamer places where kids play card games like Pokemon or MetaZoo or how about a skate park my kids LOVED skateboards

What about bowling or learning an instrument there's a place called "School of Rock" it's a music school geared toward kids your age some younger some older and it's AWESOME maybe your parents can look at that and if not that school maybe a different music school playing the GUITAR is always a COOL thing or BASE my brother got his first drum set at 11 so just some things to think about🌈

I love NATURE and being one with NATURE going for walks in the forest preserves or Botanical Gardens maybe you can go with your family doing MORE things outdoors will give you confidence I believe this ..

How about joining a gym I see kids at mine ALL the time in your age group playing basketball the parent bought a family package these are ways to help you engage..🌈

And are you close with your family how about your Mom and Dad do you have any brother's or sisters that you can talk to that's NICE to have that and my sister and brother are my friends and me and my sister are very close💜❤️

I LOVE to paint you can get some canvases at "Michaels" the store some acrylic paints and brushes bring some music if you can sit by the park and paint they have small canvases you get like a dozen of them for under $15🌈

Working with animals is a GREAT idea like a shelter but your still pretty young there might be programs for your age group by you but I'm sure you'd have to work that out with your family or babysitting them for neighbors anything we suggest you'll have to ask your parents.. 👍🏻👍🏻

I am also lonely and with no friends. But in age I am at the end. I had an abusive mother and was shy. She really beat out of me any tendency to speak up and try to meet people. I know how you feel. Now that I am coming to the end of my life I am finally getting some therapy. Now I know that I have PTSD because of her. I am paralyzed because her voices are still in my head. I am also told to volunteer. The people who say that mean well but they don't know how hard it is to walk into a room of strangers and even open your mouth to say hello. So I tell you to try and get some help from a therapist. You need to work on your skills. Even at my age this is what I am attempting to do. You will fail sometimes, but you will also succeed sometimes. Good luck.

my friend was getting in trouble for talking back to much that's why she won't let me come over and for some reason because Im a boy and my friend's a girl she doesn't really want me to hang out with her

I asked my mom if I could do something over the summer and she said she'll try to find something

the kids in my neighborhood are somewhat friendly but it's very very hard to even get the confidence to talk most of the time it's scary even sometimes I would like to talk but it's like I can't, I can't even speak up for myself I get bullied at school (due to me having autism) Im not to high on the autism scale I just have trouble talking

due to me not having anyone to talk to I spend time learning about animals or drawing I upload my drawings on YouTube
fe35ghy
(that's my yt channel were I draw at) I'm trying to practice talking by talking to myself but I don't really know what else to do

Hey there! I just wanted to mention that anime has a whole lot of fans. My son made friends in an anime club that was held at our local library. Check out their calendar and if there isn't one, perhaps you or a parent can call to suggest it. Our library is always happy to take suggestions, especially for kids and teens. Hang in there.