Oh, Ripley, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time accepting what may be your new normal. Change is hard and acceptance of something your not happy about makes it all the harder. I stubbornly resisted significant changes in my life, too, especially when it meant no longer being capable of working. Loss in any shape or form is something we naturally mourn. It's important to give ourself grace during the process. Journaling and the practice of mindfulness helped me quite a bit, along with cognitive behavioral therapy. Have you considered therapy to work through your challenges?