@minneapolis123 John, I will be curious what the Spine Institute may tell you! It is almost always a good thing to have more than one opinion when facing something profound. Hearing different approaches to the issue, you can make an educated decision. Ask your questions! And don't settle for an answer that doesn't feel complete. One thing that many of us do is use "Dr. Google", which can lead us down a rabbit hole of misinformation.

Chronic pain can really mess with our body, and our heads. When we take a step back and look at it all, often we will see little things that we can address. Knowing you are going to call Seattle Spine is a step in the right direction! Maybe they cannot offer you a solution, but they may be able to point you in another direction, to a place where you can research further. And maybe they will be able to offer you assistance.

Motivation when you don't feel good can be a stumbling block. Trying just a little thing will help, and you will be looking forward to doing something else. Trust me, I know this all too well!
Ginger

@minneapolis123 The grief from loss actually does cause physical pain. I am going through it too right now, but for a different reason. I am a spine surgical patient and I get muscle spasms in my neck, and these last couple days that has been awful pain and muscular headaches and the spasms are moving my vertebrae and straightening the curve in my neck. This morning, I just found this article about heartache and grief and this really applies to any type of loss. Grief causes our stress hormone, Cortisol, to shoot through the roof and that causes our symptoms and increases muscle contractions. This may help you process the feelings and understand why.
https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-ease-the-pain-of-grief-following-a-romantic-breakup
It turns out one of the best things we can do is take a walk in nature and distract ourselves from the grief. Also taking steps to solve the problem like you are doing by contacting a spine doctor in Seattle should help you feel like you've done something productive. I know that helps me. Spine problems are hard to deal with anyway and the recovery from spine surgery is long. I went through a similar situation of being rejected by 5 surgeons who would not help me because they didn't understand my case. That was 2 years of searching for help and at the time I was care giving for my dad at end stage heart disease. Those were very hard years. Take it one day at a time in baby steps. At that time I adopted a silly cat from a shelter. He is right next to me right now as I write this.

You are absolutely right that gratitude will help you get through this. You will find a new path to recovery and learn some things along the way. Keep asking yourself questions like that about how you CAN do this and recover. Pain does not need to control what you think about. You can always use visual imagery in your mind to imagine you are somewhere else doing something that you love to do, even just simple pleasures. I am sorry I missed your posts up until now. I was dealing with an urgent situation that is the source of my grief today. I will get through it and I am going out to take a walk.

God bless.

Jennifer