@minneapolis123 Dang, you certainly are in a pickle, right? [okay, I am old enough to remember, but I don't know if you are!] When we are in pain, whether it is physical, emotional, or mental, our whole world takes on a different look. To read that you would consider "stepping out" would be so sad for family and friends to come to grips with. They would be left wondering what they could have done differently, how they might have helped you.

Who in your circle have you reached out to? You have been a member here on Connect for about 4 years, and I'll bet you have read many posts. Getting assistance when we are in pain, we sometimes get a clouded view because we are hurting. I know for me, it is difficult to see clearly how things might get better. I sometimes focus on the negative, and don't see there might be another path, one that might take some work and time, but will offer me a solution.

Are you still in the Seattle area? The University of Washington has a great spine/orthopedic center https://www.uwmedicine.org/specialties/spine-care
Also, there is the Seattle Spine Institute https://www.seattlespineinstitute.com/

Having constant pain can be really debilitating, we all know that. You owe it to yourself, and your family and friends, to seek out help. Will you keep in contact with me, please?
Ginger