Defeated today

I'm feeling defeated today after working so hard at to remain positive. 3 straight days of feeling dizzy, exhausted and terrified. Reading posts in this group has helped. (Working to finalize and memorialize a Polycythemia Vera DX with hemo/onco). I promised myself I would keep my life as normal as possible. Today I called into work sick.

I was scheduled to drive 3 hrs to a meeting and then sit in a meeting for 4 hours. I've been terrified - awake all night with stomachache and loose stool, which I know is related to nerves. Been trying to get ready for work since 4am (it's now 8am, and I give up). I'm going to call my primary care to ask for compression stockings. They will not hurt me and might put my mind at ease.

I'm a very strong person, so today feels like a defeat. I've been packing in the hydration for the past few days. I've also heard antihistamines can help. How do you feel better on days like this?